Wednesday, January 28, 2009
update.
Guess it's been a long time i didnt update.
So many things do happening around me and changes were made.
First, I'm no longer be with anyone any more. Stayed back with my own life.
Nothing much i could say bout it, but best to just forget the past and move on once more.
One of the people around me said i changed.
Changed into someone that didn't know before.
Like, more frustration and anger i guess?
Last 2 days ago i gone off to ECP for a picnic with fren's family and our close ones.
I asked them, any changes around me? If so, tell me truthfully.
They said I'm still what i am, getting better again, and my looks changes once more. lols.
I dont know uhh mahdi, how i changed my looks. Natural i think. hahs.
They said i am who i am. Nothing changes but just getting better and better.
So guess the person who said i changed doesn't know me well, true? Am i wrong?
School have been tough lately, our radio commercial not yet finish.
This year CNY, i felt the atmosphere just so peaceful around my estate.
Not like last year or 2 years ago.
Now i starting to get back to myself again.
Getting better i mean, and watch lots of Japanese Drama Series. lols.
But you know, some of the parts you learn something.
Like, one "Policy" in the drama, "Live life to the fullest and have fun."
Kinda interesting though. And yes, i enjoy my life right now, with or without problems.
Guess till here i update then.
I will update whenever possible.
So many things do happening around me and changes were made.
First, I'm no longer be with anyone any more. Stayed back with my own life.
Nothing much i could say bout it, but best to just forget the past and move on once more.
One of the people around me said i changed.
Changed into someone that didn't know before.
Like, more frustration and anger i guess?
Last 2 days ago i gone off to ECP for a picnic with fren's family and our close ones.
I asked them, any changes around me? If so, tell me truthfully.
They said I'm still what i am, getting better again, and my looks changes once more. lols.
I dont know uhh mahdi, how i changed my looks. Natural i think. hahs.
They said i am who i am. Nothing changes but just getting better and better.
So guess the person who said i changed doesn't know me well, true? Am i wrong?
School have been tough lately, our radio commercial not yet finish.
This year CNY, i felt the atmosphere just so peaceful around my estate.
Not like last year or 2 years ago.
Now i starting to get back to myself again.
Getting better i mean, and watch lots of Japanese Drama Series. lols.
But you know, some of the parts you learn something.
Like, one "Policy" in the drama, "Live life to the fullest and have fun."
Kinda interesting though. And yes, i enjoy my life right now, with or without problems.
Guess till here i update then.
I will update whenever possible.
Labels: 2 days after CNY
12:45 PM
Thursday, January 22, 2009
4 pointer
See that picture above? Look like silly right if you guys just say without clearly notice it?
It's one of my module notes.
Yes, wrote it, copy it, drew it.
I cant waste any more time right now, just have to copy down notes and understand about it.
Get well prepare for this year.
I wanna aim 4 pointer, GPA 4.0
Cause i wanna try my best to get in poly next year.
So this year i dont wanna waste too much time having fun or so.
I never done notes in my life you know?
Guess right now im taking it seriously.
And last few hours ago i re-write back the notes into a new notebook.
Re-write and understand it at the same time.
But im on the phone while re-write it too. lols.
my bad, just getting bored uhh, without anyone to talk to.
Thanks for accompany. Appreciate lots to the both of you.
Earlier this morning, a brief presentation of how to use the audio mixer.
I gonna upload the video below. If too long, then stop watching it then.
Cause it's a video about the mixer, nothing else.
In the late afternoon, gone out to meet my new friend.
Lots of talent in her.
It's like...she born with natural Arts skills/knowledge.
Really impressed by her.
Highly respected. hahs.
anyway, nice knowing her though.
till here i update then.
Labels: my aims..
1:27 AM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Back.
I wonder what should i say.
So many things in mind yet i'm speechless.
A brand new year with a brand new life huh..
More like i getting back to my old self but better.
Everything i just got to stand up by myself.
Fighting for my own rights and weaknesses became strength.
Day by day had passed and didnt hang out much with frens, or even her.
Well, she's busy and tired always, so it's better not to disturb her or anything, just give her own space and time.
and it's going to be like a week didn't contact? i'm doing fine, kinda. just have to bare the situation.
frens, there's always have time to hang out.
even i myself need my own space and time.
and also rather than always done things for people, i wanna do things for myself.
will that be selfishness?
but people around me are being one isn' it?
so doesn't matter right and no one cares anyway.
So many things in mind yet i'm speechless.
A brand new year with a brand new life huh..
More like i getting back to my old self but better.
Everything i just got to stand up by myself.
Fighting for my own rights and weaknesses became strength.
Day by day had passed and didnt hang out much with frens, or even her.
Well, she's busy and tired always, so it's better not to disturb her or anything, just give her own space and time.
and it's going to be like a week didn't contact? i'm doing fine, kinda. just have to bare the situation.
frens, there's always have time to hang out.
even i myself need my own space and time.
and also rather than always done things for people, i wanna do things for myself.
will that be selfishness?
but people around me are being one isn' it?
so doesn't matter right and no one cares anyway.
Labels: back to school.
5:57 PM
Monday, January 19, 2009
sick.
woke up in the morning. supposely i should go to school but ended up staying at home.
the reason?
i fall sick and wanted to go to the doctor and get medication and rest.
it's sickening uhh.
all these flu, cough and sore throat. and gotten stomach cramp awhile and vomitted a lil'.
no food waste in it, just acid and water. getting pretty soreful at the end of my throat.
anyway, mum accompany me to the doc ealier on.
so now i just got back home.
i gonna upload a video, lil bro playing with two balloons.
guess till here then i post.
going back to rest.
the reason?
i fall sick and wanted to go to the doctor and get medication and rest.
it's sickening uhh.
all these flu, cough and sore throat. and gotten stomach cramp awhile and vomitted a lil'.
no food waste in it, just acid and water. getting pretty soreful at the end of my throat.
anyway, mum accompany me to the doc ealier on.
so now i just got back home.
i gonna upload a video, lil bro playing with two balloons.
guess till here then i post.
going back to rest.
Labels: i need a doc.
4:16 PM
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Hearts..
9 pieces collected.
91 more to go.
but think the collection stopped for the time being?
91 more to go.
but think the collection stopped for the time being?
Guess what is this?
It's a shape and yeah, 9 of it.
If im not wrong, i remembered i need to collect 100 of it.
But i think, the collection got to stop for the time being?
and yes these pieces were by her.
She asked me to keep it till 100 of it.
Oh well, cant collect that much already could i?
Nevermind, nothing more to talk about.
post end here.
Labels: hearts.
11:46 PM
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Saturday Update, Continue.
Video above was we playing the RockBand game.
Only got guitar and i had a headset mic.
So this vid mahdi was the vocal and im the lead guitar.
He played easy and i played expert. lols.
Only got guitar and i had a headset mic.
So this vid mahdi was the vocal and im the lead guitar.
He played easy and i played expert. lols.
This one is one of the common punk rock song.
Im the vocal and mahdi's the lead guitar.
He played medium, i played easy. lols
no choice. hard to expert the vocal you know!
and dont mind me, im being whacky to relieve stress.
but guess i going off to far. >.<"
Im the vocal and mahdi's the lead guitar.
He played medium, i played easy. lols
no choice. hard to expert the vocal you know!
and dont mind me, im being whacky to relieve stress.
but guess i going off to far. >.<"
Labels: Saturday Update..Continue..
11:47 PM
Saturday Update!
Last round of shooting.
So i got to shoot 10 arrows.
5 my own, 5 school arrows.
You guess which one is mine?
Blue or Silver? The ones i bought?
So i got to shoot 10 arrows.
5 my own, 5 school arrows.
You guess which one is mine?
Blue or Silver? The ones i bought?
Line up the bows.
Each have their own and prepare to shoot.
Each have their own and prepare to shoot.
That's the target board then. What else?
Erm 1st lesson of the year, so it's only a 10m distance.
Erm 1st lesson of the year, so it's only a 10m distance.
Just give a short update.
Early morning off to Archery Training.
Yeah, i got back in again.
Afternoon gone to RP for Gamelan Training with my friends.
Till evening, mahdi and mirul followed me home and then, it's time we got whacky.
i post a few Archery pictures above, and the next post i gonna upload 2 videos.
Labels: Saturday Update..
11:27 PM
Friday, January 16, 2009
Boring Friday.
Pfft..thought someone wanna come my house today?
in the end not even a single call. wth. text him also no reply.
eh bro, where you gone sia?
anyway, didnt do much today.
Last night watched Forbidden Kingdom.
Then ealier this morning practice piano and afterwards watch Initial D anime.
In the afternoon i gone off to Woodlands North Plaza(WNP) there to buy food and walking around.
my meal for today is 3 bread and favourite drink, chocolate vitasoy.
after bought my food, suddenly just wanna look around in the LAN gaming place at level 2.
Once i got in, quite a disappointment.
Place was like deserted only 5 or 6 computers were active.
Guess i got in at a wrong time.
But when im inside, reminds me of my olden days.
The gaming days, online games and everything.
and even i can recalled back that im the Private MU Online Game Master.
those were great during that times.
as time pass, i took up gaming seriously and joined in competition.
Xbox360, PC, Team game..
lots of prizes i won.
Some people asked me, "Eh, how you become pro gamer? Got in competition and won most of the players there."
Well, i not sure. I cant answer to that question. Maybe pro gaming born inside of me?
And if speaking bout techniques or skills, i cant show or teach as you the one need to put effort and achieve it. But i can guide you though.
Since this year lots of changes for me, maybe i gonna participate in competitions again.
Maybe winning or loosing doesnt matters to me.
If i win, thats great and keep it up, if i lost, then there always have another chance and try my best again.
think i update till here. nothing more to say.
chiaos.
in the end not even a single call. wth. text him also no reply.
eh bro, where you gone sia?
anyway, didnt do much today.
Last night watched Forbidden Kingdom.
Then ealier this morning practice piano and afterwards watch Initial D anime.
In the afternoon i gone off to Woodlands North Plaza(WNP) there to buy food and walking around.
my meal for today is 3 bread and favourite drink, chocolate vitasoy.
after bought my food, suddenly just wanna look around in the LAN gaming place at level 2.
Once i got in, quite a disappointment.
Place was like deserted only 5 or 6 computers were active.
Guess i got in at a wrong time.
But when im inside, reminds me of my olden days.
The gaming days, online games and everything.
and even i can recalled back that im the Private MU Online Game Master.
those were great during that times.
as time pass, i took up gaming seriously and joined in competition.
Xbox360, PC, Team game..
lots of prizes i won.
Some people asked me, "Eh, how you become pro gamer? Got in competition and won most of the players there."
Well, i not sure. I cant answer to that question. Maybe pro gaming born inside of me?
And if speaking bout techniques or skills, i cant show or teach as you the one need to put effort and achieve it. But i can guide you though.
Since this year lots of changes for me, maybe i gonna participate in competitions again.
Maybe winning or loosing doesnt matters to me.
If i win, thats great and keep it up, if i lost, then there always have another chance and try my best again.
think i update till here. nothing more to say.
chiaos.
Labels: boring old friday.
8:24 PM
Thursday, January 15, 2009
18th Birthday to "Jie"
It's been quite a while i didnt update my blog.
Now i just got home from school.
Quite exhausted as last lesson was Physical Fitness.
Just run 1 round at the trackfield and gone off to basketball with the Chinese group.
Year 2009, a lot of things happened around, and a lot of changes too.
Guess won't be the same as last year.
Everything changed. Maybe even friends that i hang out with will change too.
By the way, wanna thanks 2 of my classmate to accompany me to Bedok to go home earlier on.
Right now, i dont have any stable friends to hang out in my class.
Just hang out anyone that i able to and seldom with the malay guys.
About module, gonna learn to stuff like audio mixing or sound recording.
We got a project called, Creating Radio Commercials. Sounds fun but i suspect gonna be tough.
In the group, im the sound editor since my group knows im experience in these sounds stuffs.
So yah, why dont i try it then? Though i plan to be audio engineering in the future. lols.
By the way, today is 15th of Jan, someone's 18 already sia. Wah, became Jie already. hahs.
Wanna wish Happy 18th Birthday to Huiting.
May all your wishes come true and live with full of great things in life.
Later on not sure what i wanna do.
Maybe just watch anime again. Err, Initial D maybe? lols.
I plan to watch that anime but yesterday night fall asleep while watching the 1st Stage. -.-"
If not Initial D, then watch JayChou movie, The Secrets.
Eventhough i watched it before, i felt like watching again.
So anything i update later on.
By the way, tomorrow no school! woots!
maybe call up my fren to have soccer game duel =.=" as he cant wait to beat up my ass.
We'll see how will it be tomorrow, i'll update the score. hehs. >.<"
Now i just got home from school.
Quite exhausted as last lesson was Physical Fitness.
Just run 1 round at the trackfield and gone off to basketball with the Chinese group.
Year 2009, a lot of things happened around, and a lot of changes too.
Guess won't be the same as last year.
Everything changed. Maybe even friends that i hang out with will change too.
By the way, wanna thanks 2 of my classmate to accompany me to Bedok to go home earlier on.
Right now, i dont have any stable friends to hang out in my class.
Just hang out anyone that i able to and seldom with the malay guys.
About module, gonna learn to stuff like audio mixing or sound recording.
We got a project called, Creating Radio Commercials. Sounds fun but i suspect gonna be tough.
In the group, im the sound editor since my group knows im experience in these sounds stuffs.
So yah, why dont i try it then? Though i plan to be audio engineering in the future. lols.
By the way, today is 15th of Jan, someone's 18 already sia. Wah, became Jie already. hahs.
Wanna wish Happy 18th Birthday to Huiting.
May all your wishes come true and live with full of great things in life.
Later on not sure what i wanna do.
Maybe just watch anime again. Err, Initial D maybe? lols.
I plan to watch that anime but yesterday night fall asleep while watching the 1st Stage. -.-"
If not Initial D, then watch JayChou movie, The Secrets.
Eventhough i watched it before, i felt like watching again.
So anything i update later on.
By the way, tomorrow no school! woots!
maybe call up my fren to have soccer game duel =.=" as he cant wait to beat up my ass.
We'll see how will it be tomorrow, i'll update the score. hehs. >.<"
Labels: Happy 18th Birthday
6:35 PM
Monday, January 12, 2009
Learn to let go.
i just read up my another blog.
it was unexpected though, that she updated it.
glad to see that she did, but should i be happy right now?
happy just because she updated our blog?
but anyway, i replied to her post earlier on
cause it wasn't nice to keep an empty reply right?
1st week of a new year had pass yet nothing change.
maybe if there's still no effort of changing, then i'll do it someday.
learn to let go. let go the feelings inside of me.
cause i predicted that maybe she's destined to be with him.
maybe for them, but i cant hundred percent assure of it.
and judging by the body language and actions,
wherever she is or anywhere she goes, surely there's part she talked & thought about him.
and maybe, i just have to accept it and move on by myself once more.
i remembered she said she doesn't belongs to anyone.
but after all this, it's more like she does belongs to him anyway.
people reading this surely thought that im being emotional. im not actually.
well, emotional doesn't control me, im the one control it and im stating the fact right now.
guess i learnt a lot ever since i knew her from the beginning.
rather than influencing me the negatives, she actually showed me more hope and faith, believing, builds up strength and courage, and even being independent.
i already knew from the beginning she's a strong and courages girl she should be.
but because of the miserable and negatives life she had and the lack of love and concern, she cant control her emotions and felt weak quite a long time.
sorry to say this kind of way.
yes i tried my very best to be with her, to be there for her. i did.
but because of that pika guy, i cant tolerate much whenever that name was spoken or appeared.
rivalry of mine? can say so, and im not afraid or him actually. just that it's waste of time and strength interfering their love i guess.
so what is it for me now?
well just observing how the situation will be around me.
if i learn to let go, there's another problem for me.
the real question was,
how am i suppose to explain mum about the situation between us?
it was unexpected though, that she updated it.
glad to see that she did, but should i be happy right now?
happy just because she updated our blog?
but anyway, i replied to her post earlier on
cause it wasn't nice to keep an empty reply right?
1st week of a new year had pass yet nothing change.
maybe if there's still no effort of changing, then i'll do it someday.
learn to let go. let go the feelings inside of me.
cause i predicted that maybe she's destined to be with him.
maybe for them, but i cant hundred percent assure of it.
and judging by the body language and actions,
wherever she is or anywhere she goes, surely there's part she talked & thought about him.
and maybe, i just have to accept it and move on by myself once more.
i remembered she said she doesn't belongs to anyone.
but after all this, it's more like she does belongs to him anyway.
people reading this surely thought that im being emotional. im not actually.
well, emotional doesn't control me, im the one control it and im stating the fact right now.
guess i learnt a lot ever since i knew her from the beginning.
rather than influencing me the negatives, she actually showed me more hope and faith, believing, builds up strength and courage, and even being independent.
i already knew from the beginning she's a strong and courages girl she should be.
but because of the miserable and negatives life she had and the lack of love and concern, she cant control her emotions and felt weak quite a long time.
sorry to say this kind of way.
yes i tried my very best to be with her, to be there for her. i did.
but because of that pika guy, i cant tolerate much whenever that name was spoken or appeared.
rivalry of mine? can say so, and im not afraid or him actually. just that it's waste of time and strength interfering their love i guess.
so what is it for me now?
well just observing how the situation will be around me.
if i learn to let go, there's another problem for me.
the real question was,
how am i suppose to explain mum about the situation between us?
Labels: so..how?
11:42 PM
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Night Update.
Moment ago, went off to admiralty to accompany her for dinner.
Guess it's been a long time we didnt hang out together isnt it?
Felt like we're only going out once a month right now.
After her dinner, she bought chocolate ice-cream cone.
I remembered this moment before, she bought it that night, and we're walking around the admiralty area.
It's like we're walking around that estate. And yes, took my slipper and threw it further away.
Between 9.30pm-10pm, she going off, but before that she accompany me to meet my friend, William.
Quite a long time didnt seen him though. Since he went to NS and i stop gaming, we didnt see each other like 2 years?
While waiting, i have a short conversation with her.
Out of the blue i suddenly asked her about the ear piercing.
Whether if she's still planning to do or not.
But hopefully not, she look sweet and pretty already, if she pierce here and there, it's like destroying the beauty of a human body isnt it? So guess it's better not to have extra piercing.
Afterwards talking about bike/scooter. Motorcycle license.
Can't believe uhh she wanna have a scooter.
Well, my thoughts and answer? I disagree of course.
I told her this,"You have 2 legs and you walking with it with clumsiness sometimes, now you wanna take bike/scooter? It's like making your life even more risky isnt it? Now you walking still can bang the lampost, then if you ride bike or scooter, you gonna bang the traffic light post?"
Then she laughed and replied, "Haha, so cute when you said like that." lols -.-"
At the first place, i told her im being frankly and not trying to offend her or look down on her.
If she felt offended, then im sorry. But think throughout..
Bike or Scooter is the same isnt it? It's the "Family" of Motorcycle.
It's holding the same high risk of life if there's any accident.
Dad told me this before,
"If your motorcycle crushed by traffic accident, can it be repair?"
I replied him, "yeah, can of course?"
Then Dad added another phrases,
"Then if your legs crushed by traffic accident, can it be repair?"
I stay silent for a moment and said, "No of course not. It will be disable isn't it or the worst part is our legs could gone?"
Then he said, "Yah then? If you disable you gonna add more miserable life in yourself right?
People can go swimming, cycling, walking, jogging without any problem, then if your legs disable or gone, you cant even do any of those with ease. And even if you lost your leg, you can't go for another motorcycle ride right? You think carefully lah, whether am i right or wrong."
I tried to against him a bit,
"But if wont speed with the motorcycle, it will not have any accident right?"
Then he nagged at me,
"Speed or no speed is the same and also called accident right?
If a car or bus hit you from any side of your motorcycle, you surely be flying any of the direction right?
Eventhough if you're not speeding, then what about other vehicle? Can still hit you right?
It's not like you can go through them or something isnt it? Think again uhh."
After he said all those, i just went speechless.
So thats why i dont want my love one to have any more problems or difficult situation.
Or adding more miserable life in herself.
I guess it's better for her not to have any motorcycle license right?
If car, it shouldn't be any problem, cause im planning to take car license as well. -.-"
And speaking bout curfew, sometimes it does have a good part in life isnt it?
People hates having curfew, but in some situations, it's giving us safe and protection somehow.
Hope she's aware and wont nag at me after reading it.
Im putting effort to think for her and giving her safe life though.
Guess it's been a long time we didnt hang out together isnt it?
Felt like we're only going out once a month right now.
After her dinner, she bought chocolate ice-cream cone.
I remembered this moment before, she bought it that night, and we're walking around the admiralty area.
It's like we're walking around that estate. And yes, took my slipper and threw it further away.
Between 9.30pm-10pm, she going off, but before that she accompany me to meet my friend, William.
Quite a long time didnt seen him though. Since he went to NS and i stop gaming, we didnt see each other like 2 years?
While waiting, i have a short conversation with her.
Out of the blue i suddenly asked her about the ear piercing.
Whether if she's still planning to do or not.
But hopefully not, she look sweet and pretty already, if she pierce here and there, it's like destroying the beauty of a human body isnt it? So guess it's better not to have extra piercing.
Afterwards talking about bike/scooter. Motorcycle license.
Can't believe uhh she wanna have a scooter.
Well, my thoughts and answer? I disagree of course.
I told her this,"You have 2 legs and you walking with it with clumsiness sometimes, now you wanna take bike/scooter? It's like making your life even more risky isnt it? Now you walking still can bang the lampost, then if you ride bike or scooter, you gonna bang the traffic light post?"
Then she laughed and replied, "Haha, so cute when you said like that." lols -.-"
At the first place, i told her im being frankly and not trying to offend her or look down on her.
If she felt offended, then im sorry. But think throughout..
Bike or Scooter is the same isnt it? It's the "Family" of Motorcycle.
It's holding the same high risk of life if there's any accident.
Dad told me this before,
"If your motorcycle crushed by traffic accident, can it be repair?"
I replied him, "yeah, can of course?"
Then Dad added another phrases,
"Then if your legs crushed by traffic accident, can it be repair?"
I stay silent for a moment and said, "No of course not. It will be disable isn't it or the worst part is our legs could gone?"
Then he said, "Yah then? If you disable you gonna add more miserable life in yourself right?
People can go swimming, cycling, walking, jogging without any problem, then if your legs disable or gone, you cant even do any of those with ease. And even if you lost your leg, you can't go for another motorcycle ride right? You think carefully lah, whether am i right or wrong."
I tried to against him a bit,
"But if wont speed with the motorcycle, it will not have any accident right?"
Then he nagged at me,
"Speed or no speed is the same and also called accident right?
If a car or bus hit you from any side of your motorcycle, you surely be flying any of the direction right?
Eventhough if you're not speeding, then what about other vehicle? Can still hit you right?
It's not like you can go through them or something isnt it? Think again uhh."
After he said all those, i just went speechless.
So thats why i dont want my love one to have any more problems or difficult situation.
Or adding more miserable life in herself.
I guess it's better for her not to have any motorcycle license right?
If car, it shouldn't be any problem, cause im planning to take car license as well. -.-"
And speaking bout curfew, sometimes it does have a good part in life isnt it?
People hates having curfew, but in some situations, it's giving us safe and protection somehow.
Hope she's aware and wont nag at me after reading it.
Im putting effort to think for her and giving her safe life though.
Labels: Thoughts for her.
10:11 PM
Saturday update.
Well, just finished my practice on piano.
Since i got nothing else to do, might as well i just blogging then.
Bout today update. Let's see...
Mum planned to go out to have lunch, looking for stuffs and yeah, jalan-jalan.
But not only us, mum asked me to tag another person as well.
I dont know if i should called her my gf anymore? or just fren? haiz. complicated.
oh well, just label as "her" then.
Around 1.30pm i think, she reached home.
Just before i wanna gone out to get myself Nescafe, she reached at my doorstep.
That was unexpected actually, just shocked for the moment.
cause i thought she would arrived a lil bit late.
I have to admit, she does look cute in her clothes today.
Yup she does, cute cute girl. hahas. Never seen her wear those clothes before.
Simple but sweet+cute.
So, first thing first, in the afternoon, have our lunch at Woodlands Mart.
I bought the same old mixed vegetable rice, mum as well. But not her, as she's not eating.
She help mum to fed my lil' bro then.
Afterward gone off to Civic Center to look for stuffs and my trousers.
Walk walk walk...
Bought my trousers, lil bro's clothes and dont know another stuff for lil bro also.
Walked around the civic center again, then off to causeway point.
We didn't do anything much uhh today. Just..you know, all of us bored staying at home so we're just planned and gone out together, spent time together.
After spending time, we head back home at around 5.30pm.
At home do my usual stuff.
Tidy up, this and that, practice my piano and so on.
She's now in my bedroom.
Somehow while i practicing, she observing, looking and so on, i think that my practice took so long she felt bored and gone rest at my bed. =.="
Just dont know uhh what is going on between us.
Hard to explain, maybe just stick to complicated is enough.
If we're still can't agree with each other or still cant change, then we just stick to close frens then.
Cause, i dont want to keep on going like this, it's like, "cinta tak berbalas"
Yes people gonna ask, dont you feel wasted if you break up.
Then what else should i do? Tell me then?
Yes i do still love her but too bad she still love that pika. She cant even deny it uhh.
If she doesn't love him, i would be happy or glad, and i wouldnt think or be like this in the first place.
Oh well, let's just stop the post here then. Enough for today.
I just wanna see what time will show.
Since most people said, time will heal and shown isnt it?
Still, im glad that she's able to go out with us and see her again.
Appreciated for all the help. Thanks.
Im Outs.
Since i got nothing else to do, might as well i just blogging then.
Bout today update. Let's see...
Mum planned to go out to have lunch, looking for stuffs and yeah, jalan-jalan.
But not only us, mum asked me to tag another person as well.
I dont know if i should called her my gf anymore? or just fren? haiz. complicated.
oh well, just label as "her" then.
Around 1.30pm i think, she reached home.
Just before i wanna gone out to get myself Nescafe, she reached at my doorstep.
That was unexpected actually, just shocked for the moment.
cause i thought she would arrived a lil bit late.
I have to admit, she does look cute in her clothes today.
Yup she does, cute cute girl. hahas. Never seen her wear those clothes before.
Simple but sweet+cute.
So, first thing first, in the afternoon, have our lunch at Woodlands Mart.
I bought the same old mixed vegetable rice, mum as well. But not her, as she's not eating.
She help mum to fed my lil' bro then.
Afterward gone off to Civic Center to look for stuffs and my trousers.
Walk walk walk...
Bought my trousers, lil bro's clothes and dont know another stuff for lil bro also.
Walked around the civic center again, then off to causeway point.
We didn't do anything much uhh today. Just..you know, all of us bored staying at home so we're just planned and gone out together, spent time together.
After spending time, we head back home at around 5.30pm.
At home do my usual stuff.
Tidy up, this and that, practice my piano and so on.
She's now in my bedroom.
Somehow while i practicing, she observing, looking and so on, i think that my practice took so long she felt bored and gone rest at my bed. =.="
Just dont know uhh what is going on between us.
Hard to explain, maybe just stick to complicated is enough.
If we're still can't agree with each other or still cant change, then we just stick to close frens then.
Cause, i dont want to keep on going like this, it's like, "cinta tak berbalas"
Yes people gonna ask, dont you feel wasted if you break up.
Then what else should i do? Tell me then?
Yes i do still love her but too bad she still love that pika. She cant even deny it uhh.
If she doesn't love him, i would be happy or glad, and i wouldnt think or be like this in the first place.
Oh well, let's just stop the post here then. Enough for today.
I just wanna see what time will show.
Since most people said, time will heal and shown isnt it?
Still, im glad that she's able to go out with us and see her again.
Appreciated for all the help. Thanks.
Im Outs.
Labels: Saturday 10th of Jan.
6:48 PM
what's next?
what should i do next? all all this?
just be patience again? pretend again?
or just let it go once and for all?
haiz. we'll see then how's the condition be.
any path i choose will always remain the same.
it's not about which way should i go.
but, the question is,
how long will it last? and how far will it brings me?
last night just gotten a nightmare.
just a one horrible nightmare.
woke me up at 8am and chills just running down my spine.
all of the sudden, fears builds inside me.
even my strength goes all the way down till im so weak.
it's like im having a fatigue.
i just wanna forget about it.
i dont wanna talk about it.
even if anyone ask me bout it, i wont answer.
just let it fade away from my mind.
*off to calm my mind*
just be patience again? pretend again?
or just let it go once and for all?
haiz. we'll see then how's the condition be.
any path i choose will always remain the same.
it's not about which way should i go.
but, the question is,
how long will it last? and how far will it brings me?
last night just gotten a nightmare.
just a one horrible nightmare.
woke me up at 8am and chills just running down my spine.
all of the sudden, fears builds inside me.
even my strength goes all the way down till im so weak.
it's like im having a fatigue.
i just wanna forget about it.
i dont wanna talk about it.
even if anyone ask me bout it, i wont answer.
just let it fade away from my mind.
*off to calm my mind*
Labels: nightmare.
12:00 AM
Friday, January 9, 2009
Swallow The Knife
All of the sudden wanna post up this song lyrics.
Guess Story of the Year is the best band for me.
Check out the lyrics below.
So our open wounds will bleed until our veins run dry
Now we have to take this thorn and tear it from our side
Agitated at the fault line
Still agree to disagree
You're connected to the heart but tonight we'll set you free
So swallow the knife
Carve the way for your pride
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night to start over again
Even now as i write this down
Our pretensions disappear
Now our impulses will bite
At the ankles of our fear
So swallow the knife
Carve the way for your pride
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night to start over again
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night to start over again
(words are spoken words are broken down)
So lets make this night
Be our best mistake
So lets take the time
To wipe the blood away
Now our hands are tied
And our world is caving in
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night to start over again
Now our hands are tied
And the problems lie within
(words are spoken words are broken down, broken down, broken down)
Guess Story of the Year is the best band for me.
Check out the lyrics below.
So our open wounds will bleed until our veins run dry
Now we have to take this thorn and tear it from our side
Agitated at the fault line
Still agree to disagree
You're connected to the heart but tonight we'll set you free
So swallow the knife
Carve the way for your pride
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night to start over again
Even now as i write this down
Our pretensions disappear
Now our impulses will bite
At the ankles of our fear
So swallow the knife
Carve the way for your pride
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night to start over again
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night to start over again
(words are spoken words are broken down)
So lets make this night
Be our best mistake
So lets take the time
To wipe the blood away
Now our hands are tied
And our world is caving in
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night to start over again
Now our hands are tied
And the problems lie within
(words are spoken words are broken down, broken down, broken down)
Labels: random.
12:48 AM
Thursday, January 8, 2009
miss?
i guess life in school will change.
as i wont hang out much with the malay group.
just so sickening of being a lightbulb around.
thanks..thanks for nothing.
there's still lot's of other groups in the class.
i'll try hang with each and every one of them.
chinese boys, the malay girls, the chinese girls and so on.
or maybe just being around myself. help myself or something.
cause i always know i cant depend much on people.
all is about being independent.
got home a few moments ago.
when i wanted to go to the minimart to get some snacks, mum ask a question.
a question right out of the blue, out of nowhere she just asked me.
"Didn't ask her to come/visit our house?"
I shocked, but just pretend and asked mum back,
"Huh? Who? Mum asking about who?"
Mum told me,
"Yuki of course. Who else should i suppose to ask then?"
How is she anyway? And how's both of you going on? Fine?
At least bring her home these few days.
It's been a long time me and your lil bro didnt see her."
Just speechless. Speechless for the moment when mum asked all these questions.
All i could answer is..
"why mum ask about her all of the sudden?
it's like, out of the blue you ask these questions?"
she replied,
"why not? it's been long time right didn't hear any news from her?
and also quite a long time didn't see her too."
After mum answered back my question, i just kept silence and walk right out of the door.
I guess im not the only one who misses her.
even mum and bro wanna see her as they also miss her too.
i just dont know. i just dont know mum.
what else i wanna tell you or talk about.
it's just hard to believe when things going on like this.
what more should i say?
as i wont hang out much with the malay group.
just so sickening of being a lightbulb around.
thanks..thanks for nothing.
there's still lot's of other groups in the class.
i'll try hang with each and every one of them.
chinese boys, the malay girls, the chinese girls and so on.
or maybe just being around myself. help myself or something.
cause i always know i cant depend much on people.
all is about being independent.
got home a few moments ago.
when i wanted to go to the minimart to get some snacks, mum ask a question.
a question right out of the blue, out of nowhere she just asked me.
"Didn't ask her to come/visit our house?"
I shocked, but just pretend and asked mum back,
"Huh? Who? Mum asking about who?"
Mum told me,
"Yuki of course. Who else should i suppose to ask then?"
How is she anyway? And how's both of you going on? Fine?
At least bring her home these few days.
It's been a long time me and your lil bro didnt see her."
Just speechless. Speechless for the moment when mum asked all these questions.
All i could answer is..
"why mum ask about her all of the sudden?
it's like, out of the blue you ask these questions?"
she replied,
"why not? it's been long time right didn't hear any news from her?
and also quite a long time didn't see her too."
After mum answered back my question, i just kept silence and walk right out of the door.
I guess im not the only one who misses her.
even mum and bro wanna see her as they also miss her too.
i just dont know. i just dont know mum.
what else i wanna tell you or talk about.
it's just hard to believe when things going on like this.
what more should i say?
4:37 PM
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
always like this.
oh great, during my class, i gotten painful stomach cramp.
the pain is like so deep it pushes my stomach in.
all i do is just endure it, no one even cares anyway. so just let it be.
after my lesson ends at 4.35pm, meet up 2 of frens as they wanna go jamming.
though im in my painful condition, yet i just go. told them i wont played the guitar that well as my stomach cramp is just killing me.
i dont want to disappoint them as we plan to go jamming ealier, so i just endure it.
till 6pm+ ends, it's time we head back home.
at around 8pm i reached home.
and yes, im still kinda have the cramp.
anyway, title says "always like this." right?
just something to do with my relationship i guess..
before the new year, gave her another chance to be together, she even said she tried her best to be my gf this time, yet it didn't prooves anything right now.
found out each "Incident" everyday, like wow, hide lots of secrets behind me.
even the last sunday when we gone out,
thought it was gonna be great, but when yesterday i found out, we're gone out and she's thinking about him again. can i say the date we had was not sincered?
i guess i found out that she wanna be with me maybe because one of the reason was she wanna forget him, whose name is pika. lols.
if her intention was true, it still doesn't make any difference if she didn't put any effort to forget him but keep on chasing and missing him.
on that very night i already felt our love wasn't true, i already knew.
i already felt the difference.
i gave you another chance, yet you pushed it again.
when will you keep your words?
if you still wanna chase him, then go ahead, nothing more i could do but just seeing you walking into your new path.
what else can you explain if i found out everything myself?
what other more reasons can you speak if i found all the truth everything myself?
im sure you gonna be speechless and not much words you can say right now.
sometimes you hate him, you wanna leave him, you dont want him, you wanna ignore him.
yet sometimes you want him back, you love him, you want to be with him, you want to hear his voice, you want to talk to him.
which one is true? do you even even think of what you're saying or doing?
or just saying everything blindly?
i dont know. just do what you will and whatever you wish.
i said, i speak a thousand times but you wont listen. always wanna do your own way.
you gonna think i blaming you right now for everything?
you gonna think i complaining everything after all we done things together?
just think again, i got no time to complain or blaming people.
cause you always misunderstood and wont aware of what you're doing.
like i said a million times, im making you aware right now.
just in case you didnt aware of what you done.
Guess i figure out my weakness since the new year began.
grief. my weakness was grief. i can't believe but maybe it's true.
the pain is like so deep it pushes my stomach in.
all i do is just endure it, no one even cares anyway. so just let it be.
after my lesson ends at 4.35pm, meet up 2 of frens as they wanna go jamming.
though im in my painful condition, yet i just go. told them i wont played the guitar that well as my stomach cramp is just killing me.
i dont want to disappoint them as we plan to go jamming ealier, so i just endure it.
till 6pm+ ends, it's time we head back home.
at around 8pm i reached home.
and yes, im still kinda have the cramp.
anyway, title says "always like this." right?
just something to do with my relationship i guess..
before the new year, gave her another chance to be together, she even said she tried her best to be my gf this time, yet it didn't prooves anything right now.
found out each "Incident" everyday, like wow, hide lots of secrets behind me.
even the last sunday when we gone out,
thought it was gonna be great, but when yesterday i found out, we're gone out and she's thinking about him again. can i say the date we had was not sincered?
i guess i found out that she wanna be with me maybe because one of the reason was she wanna forget him, whose name is pika. lols.
if her intention was true, it still doesn't make any difference if she didn't put any effort to forget him but keep on chasing and missing him.
on that very night i already felt our love wasn't true, i already knew.
i already felt the difference.
i gave you another chance, yet you pushed it again.
when will you keep your words?
if you still wanna chase him, then go ahead, nothing more i could do but just seeing you walking into your new path.
what else can you explain if i found out everything myself?
what other more reasons can you speak if i found all the truth everything myself?
im sure you gonna be speechless and not much words you can say right now.
sometimes you hate him, you wanna leave him, you dont want him, you wanna ignore him.
yet sometimes you want him back, you love him, you want to be with him, you want to hear his voice, you want to talk to him.
which one is true? do you even even think of what you're saying or doing?
or just saying everything blindly?
i dont know. just do what you will and whatever you wish.
i said, i speak a thousand times but you wont listen. always wanna do your own way.
you gonna think i blaming you right now for everything?
you gonna think i complaining everything after all we done things together?
just think again, i got no time to complain or blaming people.
cause you always misunderstood and wont aware of what you're doing.
like i said a million times, im making you aware right now.
just in case you didnt aware of what you done.
Guess i figure out my weakness since the new year began.
grief. my weakness was grief. i can't believe but maybe it's true.
Labels: explanation?
8:14 PM
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
being bad?
i wonder if being bad is good enough to make people realise?
since good always being played around with, still intention of keeping secrets, done actions that pushed one another away.
we talk nicely, we treat them good, they want to do their ways or being so stubborn.
when we give up on them, or had enough of the problems, then they gonna felt worried and scared they will loose us.
why must people will be realise when we done something to them or when things already happened?
why cant they realise themselves when we just use mouth to talk or words to speak and not bad actions? it's sickening you know that.
the biggest thing i hate in my life is being the true colours of the bad side of me.
thats why aggression, rage, anger, i just kept it to myself, learn patience and cool down few mins or so. if i followed up the emotions, i guess things around me gone haywire, people around me will be hurt and attitudes will showed up.
the reason why i put up this post?
i wanna see if there's trust in someone i so close with.
see if a slight actions will effect the situation or not.
im giving a damn hint right now. as i dislike being so straightforward into the point.
if im being straightforward, felt a sharp feeling like a needle stabbing a damn hopeless heart.
since good always being played around with, still intention of keeping secrets, done actions that pushed one another away.
we talk nicely, we treat them good, they want to do their ways or being so stubborn.
when we give up on them, or had enough of the problems, then they gonna felt worried and scared they will loose us.
why must people will be realise when we done something to them or when things already happened?
why cant they realise themselves when we just use mouth to talk or words to speak and not bad actions? it's sickening you know that.
the biggest thing i hate in my life is being the true colours of the bad side of me.
thats why aggression, rage, anger, i just kept it to myself, learn patience and cool down few mins or so. if i followed up the emotions, i guess things around me gone haywire, people around me will be hurt and attitudes will showed up.
the reason why i put up this post?
i wanna see if there's trust in someone i so close with.
see if a slight actions will effect the situation or not.
im giving a damn hint right now. as i dislike being so straightforward into the point.
if im being straightforward, felt a sharp feeling like a needle stabbing a damn hopeless heart.
Labels: what will happen next?
10:49 PM
No Title.
"..everyone fell pain.
but after suffering satisfaction will arrive...
if we can beat the pain,on the other side, rainbow of happiness await us."
Woah. You guys think is a nice phrase?
Well for me, i can put that phrase into this too:
"Fight till the end and don't ever give up.
Cause if we accomplished our goals, we will found glory that awaits us."
All i could say is, these are such a courages phrases.
but after suffering satisfaction will arrive...
if we can beat the pain,on the other side, rainbow of happiness await us."
Woah. You guys think is a nice phrase?
Well for me, i can put that phrase into this too:
"Fight till the end and don't ever give up.
Cause if we accomplished our goals, we will found glory that awaits us."
All i could say is, these are such a courages phrases.
Labels: Phrases of the year perhaps?
12:20 AM
Monday, January 5, 2009
Update.
Erm, today school was ok but nothing much bout it.
Cause before noon, i went off to my old Sec school.
The reason why i..err "Cabut" because of helping out the Sec CCA Orientation.
The morning class, 10.30am starts, but waited till 10.45am cause the lecturer waiting for the students to come in. But it's like half of the class didn't came. lols.
And we're in a lecture theatre room and combine class.
Pu0801A & Pu0801B was our 1st year class number.
Now we're in the 2nd year, it changed to Pu0801P & Pu0801Q.
So yah, only few students in both classes came for the 1st day of school. Pathetic.
Got home, gone off to Evergreen Sec, met few of my friends there.
They still remembered me, misses me alot also. Even my Gamelan Instructor miss me. lols.
Oh yah i forgot, my Sec school CCA is Gamelan, it's a Javanese(from Indonesia) Orchestra.
Pronouce as Ga-Me-Lan. Not Game-Lan. lols.
Yeah speaking bout the CCA, we did met our old frens there.
Damn it was great, missed them alot. Especially my lil godsis, Jazilla. lols.
Cause we're used to be quite close, teasing around, always bully her. hahs, sorry sis.
met our old ex-classmate pal, suhaimi. Our Gamelan Instructor, EVG friends there also.
Can say we're like, a small Gamelan Reunion. hahas. Miss you guys lots sia.
So afterwards the orientation done, me and mahdi accompany Jaz of our friends to KFC then went to Causeway Point to buy my clothes.
The Clothes that i bought.
Jeans & Umbro Polyster Tee.
Both only cost me total of $26.80
Affordable and looks great though.
That's the picture of the clothes i bought.
I can't believe the jeans i got to wear size 30.
It's like, oh my god lah, i never wear that size before and somehow it fitted me.
From size 36 to 34, to 33, to 32 and 31, now till 30. lols.
Funny right?
The jeans cost $12.90, i bought at Tom & Stephanie.
The Tee cost me $12.90 as well as there's a discount, bought it at Sportslink.
So my 50 bucks left 24.20 right? 14 bucks i so-called borrowed to girlfren and left 10.20. That balance i bought Burger King just now which cost me about $7.25. The balance of 2.75 i spent 2 bucks on snacks. lols. so all i left now is 75 cents.
Erm, i think girlfren no need to pay back my 14 also can as i didn't force her to pay me back anyway. So if she wanna pay up, im fine with it, if she cant pay up, also fine with me as well.
So both ways are fine with me. lols.
Cause i could take it as i buy her a treat on that 14 bucks too. no worries.
And CNY is coming right?
I think she will getting herself a new clothes right? So i think i can sponsor her few dollars also, like 10 or 20 maybe?
Can take it as i giving her advance Ang Bao. hahas.
I dont know what her reaction like if she saw what i type this.
Maybe kena shocked+Happy+saying me silly? hahas.
Sorry i talk about you honey...>.<"
Earlier morning while in the bus 31, met my Godbro.
Damn it was great to see him again. Cause he's already drop out of our school cause of the bad incident of slashing one of the students there.
And if i not wrong he told me that he will going in lock-up this friday.
Not sure how long he'll be in there, i heard like 15 years? This year he's 20 years old.
He told me he misses the fun times that we had in the class last year and so on.
And wish he could still stick with us, but because he can't control his emotion and went chaotic/outrage, he done that silly things. What a waste of life bro.
Cause yes it's great having you around, all the jokes, tease, help that you provide.
You could even be one of the top scorer in our class sia.
4 pointer GPA score, like what the hell, so damn smart and yet you waste it.
Things will never be the same when you're not around here any more.
lols. People around there respected you alot, and i respected you as my big bro.
So, take very good care then, hope to see you around again.
Erm, guess till here i update then.
Cause before noon, i went off to my old Sec school.
The reason why i..err "Cabut" because of helping out the Sec CCA Orientation.
The morning class, 10.30am starts, but waited till 10.45am cause the lecturer waiting for the students to come in. But it's like half of the class didn't came. lols.
And we're in a lecture theatre room and combine class.
Pu0801A & Pu0801B was our 1st year class number.
Now we're in the 2nd year, it changed to Pu0801P & Pu0801Q.
So yah, only few students in both classes came for the 1st day of school. Pathetic.
Got home, gone off to Evergreen Sec, met few of my friends there.
They still remembered me, misses me alot also. Even my Gamelan Instructor miss me. lols.
Oh yah i forgot, my Sec school CCA is Gamelan, it's a Javanese(from Indonesia) Orchestra.
Pronouce as Ga-Me-Lan. Not Game-Lan. lols.
Yeah speaking bout the CCA, we did met our old frens there.
Damn it was great, missed them alot. Especially my lil godsis, Jazilla. lols.
Cause we're used to be quite close, teasing around, always bully her. hahs, sorry sis.
met our old ex-classmate pal, suhaimi. Our Gamelan Instructor, EVG friends there also.
Can say we're like, a small Gamelan Reunion. hahas. Miss you guys lots sia.
So afterwards the orientation done, me and mahdi accompany Jaz of our friends to KFC then went to Causeway Point to buy my clothes.
The Clothes that i bought.Jeans & Umbro Polyster Tee.
Both only cost me total of $26.80
Affordable and looks great though.
That's the picture of the clothes i bought.
I can't believe the jeans i got to wear size 30.
It's like, oh my god lah, i never wear that size before and somehow it fitted me.
From size 36 to 34, to 33, to 32 and 31, now till 30. lols.
Funny right?
The jeans cost $12.90, i bought at Tom & Stephanie.
The Tee cost me $12.90 as well as there's a discount, bought it at Sportslink.
So my 50 bucks left 24.20 right? 14 bucks i so-called borrowed to girlfren and left 10.20. That balance i bought Burger King just now which cost me about $7.25. The balance of 2.75 i spent 2 bucks on snacks. lols. so all i left now is 75 cents.
Erm, i think girlfren no need to pay back my 14 also can as i didn't force her to pay me back anyway. So if she wanna pay up, im fine with it, if she cant pay up, also fine with me as well.
So both ways are fine with me. lols.
Cause i could take it as i buy her a treat on that 14 bucks too. no worries.
And CNY is coming right?
I think she will getting herself a new clothes right? So i think i can sponsor her few dollars also, like 10 or 20 maybe?
Can take it as i giving her advance Ang Bao. hahas.
I dont know what her reaction like if she saw what i type this.
Maybe kena shocked+Happy+saying me silly? hahas.
Sorry i talk about you honey...>.<"
Earlier morning while in the bus 31, met my Godbro.
Damn it was great to see him again. Cause he's already drop out of our school cause of the bad incident of slashing one of the students there.
And if i not wrong he told me that he will going in lock-up this friday.
Not sure how long he'll be in there, i heard like 15 years? This year he's 20 years old.
He told me he misses the fun times that we had in the class last year and so on.
And wish he could still stick with us, but because he can't control his emotion and went chaotic/outrage, he done that silly things. What a waste of life bro.
Cause yes it's great having you around, all the jokes, tease, help that you provide.
You could even be one of the top scorer in our class sia.
4 pointer GPA score, like what the hell, so damn smart and yet you waste it.
Things will never be the same when you're not around here any more.
lols. People around there respected you alot, and i respected you as my big bro.
So, take very good care then, hope to see you around again.
Erm, guess till here i update then.
Labels: Great start of 2009
10:21 PM
Dont ever let..
"Don't ever let emotions get control over you"
well, thats what i always thought and tell the others around me.
Why?
It's simple, emotions controls you, you will be destroy by it.
Don't believe? See the numbers of offence or causes or happening around.
Suicide, Fights, Addictive, Chaos..
All controlled by emotions isn't it?
People let emotions control them, they can't control themselves and things just gone haywire.
Yes, emotions is bad like someone said it(i wonder who said it. hmmm..)
That's why i told them and even myself a billion, trillion times, don't let emotions get control over you. It just destroy you so damn easily.
Please for goodness sake. Cherish the precious life of ours and control our emotions.
And to guys frens or whoever, i dont "Eye-Candy" or "Cuci Mate(Wash-Eyes)" or anything anymore.
If you guys wanna continue that hobby and ask for the girls number or anything, count me out.
Cause I got my own precious baby right now.
I'm being faithful and love her lots as much as i could, so im not getting involve in that stuffs anymore. If i did, im cheating her isn't it? although you gonna said she will not know?
So yah, that stuffs were not in my dictionary anymore.
Remember the stainless steel ring i talking about?
Yes im confirm i getting it.
But not me who gonna choose it, this time i gonna let my precious choose it.
Maybe i gonna called it as ring of faith or hope.
Im wearing my bullet pendant right? Well, should i said it's my strength pendant?
That pendant is remembrance of her. During the first time I cherish her, i bought that pendant on the same day, as she's the one that gave me strength during the last few months ago.
So now i believe of hope or faith with remembrance of her, im getting a new ring.
The old tribal ring i gave it to her for my remembrance towards her. lols.
I know you guys think im being silly.
Or on the 2nd thought it's fact and true?
oh well, who knows...
well, thats what i always thought and tell the others around me.
Why?
It's simple, emotions controls you, you will be destroy by it.
Don't believe? See the numbers of offence or causes or happening around.
Suicide, Fights, Addictive, Chaos..
All controlled by emotions isn't it?
People let emotions control them, they can't control themselves and things just gone haywire.
Yes, emotions is bad like someone said it(i wonder who said it. hmmm..)
That's why i told them and even myself a billion, trillion times, don't let emotions get control over you. It just destroy you so damn easily.
Please for goodness sake. Cherish the precious life of ours and control our emotions.
And to guys frens or whoever, i dont "Eye-Candy" or "Cuci Mate(Wash-Eyes)" or anything anymore.
If you guys wanna continue that hobby and ask for the girls number or anything, count me out.
Cause I got my own precious baby right now.
I'm being faithful and love her lots as much as i could, so im not getting involve in that stuffs anymore. If i did, im cheating her isn't it? although you gonna said she will not know?
So yah, that stuffs were not in my dictionary anymore.
Remember the stainless steel ring i talking about?
Yes im confirm i getting it.
But not me who gonna choose it, this time i gonna let my precious choose it.
Maybe i gonna called it as ring of faith or hope.
Im wearing my bullet pendant right? Well, should i said it's my strength pendant?
That pendant is remembrance of her. During the first time I cherish her, i bought that pendant on the same day, as she's the one that gave me strength during the last few months ago.
So now i believe of hope or faith with remembrance of her, im getting a new ring.
The old tribal ring i gave it to her for my remembrance towards her. lols.
I know you guys think im being silly.
Or on the 2nd thought it's fact and true?
oh well, who knows...
Labels: Random thoughts.
12:35 AM
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Last.
Me and girlfren.err..looks like at the beach. lols.
somehow is somewhere in singapore lorh.
go figure out yourself then. ^^"
This is it, the last day till school reopen.
Im glad and appreciate that both me and girlfren able to go out the whole day just now.
Still, i havent get my things yet.
Stainless Steel Ring, Clothes, Black Jeans...
Oh well, guess other time then, which i got to go alone.
Went to Marina with her, first thing first bought movie tickets, show called Bedtime Stories.
So while waiting for the time, we're off to LJS to eat and afterwards girlfren wanna play the..errr, what the game called? the machine that pick pick up the plushes in the machine. Spent till about 10 bucks total i think.
Lols, too bad still didnt get any of the prizes.
Walk around, surveying shops...
till 4.25pm we head back to the cinema.
About the show..hilarious+lame+stupid+funny.
-______________-" seriously.
After movie spent time walking around, walk at the back of the singapore flyer area.
nice scenery..then snap snap snap..
*skip skip skip*
around 9.20pm i heading back home.
so yeah, reached home straight msn girlfren, go change clothes and go blogging.
till here then i blog.
chiaos~
Labels: last day.
10:51 PM
Updated.
shit. internet connection speed ran slow all of the sudden.
anyway, wanna update about just now.
erm which is the 3rd of Jan 09.
Morning woke up at 8.50am, damn i so pro overslept like few mins.
supposely meet up fren at 7.30am for morning street soccer.
8.50am, i was thinking actually, should i just go there?
cause surely they end their game like before 12nn or something.
but in my 2nd thought, might as well just relax and wait till noon as i need
to get food for mum and bro.
soon after, i gotten a goodmorning text by girlfren.
well, the text do cheer me up though, as no one even give me good morning text quite a long time.
so yeah, could say im glad and happy to see her text message.
replied back to her, and few mins later fall asleep, then i awake, straight away replied her and apologize that i fallen asleep. dotts >.<"
*skip skip skip*
after bath and everything, gone off to woodlands mart then to get lunch for everyone.
at around 2pm+, dressed myself up for the malays classmate outings at vivo.
i just had this feeling going to be so simple meeting and chatting.
but oh well, if i didnt go, they gonna think im emo or loner or always giving excuses. =.=
therefore, i put effort to go out with them. LOLS!
seriously i dont wanna go because i dont have money to eat or spend.
so when i reached at vivo and meet them, we had a group conversation, then few mins later they wanna eat at LJS.
like what the fuck?!
so sad i didnt get to eat my favourite. T_T
oh well. hopefully the next day im able to go eat with girlfren. much more better. hehs.
Till 8pm i head home first, leave them there anyway, so tired and hungry.
i went off early cause i took bus 963 route.
the journey is like 91mins total.
so yeah, if i went off at 8pm, i will reach woodlands around 9.30pm.
eventually~~~~
during the journey, i called up one of my fren, mubarak, asked him if he's available at home cause i wanna spend a few mins there.
so he said ok, then at around 9.20pm reached back of his home bus stop.
walk till his home, like took me 5mins and reached his home, tadaa~ 9.30pm exactly.
Few mins later girlfren called up all of the sudden.
In my mind, i was telling myself, "please honney dont tell me you wanna have dinner together, cause i already at woodlands. i gonna totally miss you if you said wanna have dinner together."
But my luck ran out and my thought was true, she did planning to ask me to eat dinner together.
haiz. WASTED~
Oh well, i looking forward for the next day as hopefully both of us could go out together to the movie and shopping.
lols. just earn myself 50 bucks to get new clothes and so on.
till here then i post, lets look forward till the next day. or might as well later on =.="
chiaos~
anyway, wanna update about just now.
erm which is the 3rd of Jan 09.
Morning woke up at 8.50am, damn i so pro overslept like few mins.
supposely meet up fren at 7.30am for morning street soccer.
8.50am, i was thinking actually, should i just go there?
cause surely they end their game like before 12nn or something.
but in my 2nd thought, might as well just relax and wait till noon as i need
to get food for mum and bro.
soon after, i gotten a goodmorning text by girlfren.
well, the text do cheer me up though, as no one even give me good morning text quite a long time.
so yeah, could say im glad and happy to see her text message.
replied back to her, and few mins later fall asleep, then i awake, straight away replied her and apologize that i fallen asleep. dotts >.<"
*skip skip skip*
after bath and everything, gone off to woodlands mart then to get lunch for everyone.
at around 2pm+, dressed myself up for the malays classmate outings at vivo.
i just had this feeling going to be so simple meeting and chatting.
but oh well, if i didnt go, they gonna think im emo or loner or always giving excuses. =.=
therefore, i put effort to go out with them. LOLS!
seriously i dont wanna go because i dont have money to eat or spend.
so when i reached at vivo and meet them, we had a group conversation, then few mins later they wanna eat at LJS.
like what the fuck?!
so sad i didnt get to eat my favourite. T_T
oh well. hopefully the next day im able to go eat with girlfren. much more better. hehs.
Till 8pm i head home first, leave them there anyway, so tired and hungry.
i went off early cause i took bus 963 route.
the journey is like 91mins total.
so yeah, if i went off at 8pm, i will reach woodlands around 9.30pm.
eventually~~~~
during the journey, i called up one of my fren, mubarak, asked him if he's available at home cause i wanna spend a few mins there.
so he said ok, then at around 9.20pm reached back of his home bus stop.
walk till his home, like took me 5mins and reached his home, tadaa~ 9.30pm exactly.
Few mins later girlfren called up all of the sudden.
In my mind, i was telling myself, "please honney dont tell me you wanna have dinner together, cause i already at woodlands. i gonna totally miss you if you said wanna have dinner together."
But my luck ran out and my thought was true, she did planning to ask me to eat dinner together.
haiz. WASTED~
Oh well, i looking forward for the next day as hopefully both of us could go out together to the movie and shopping.
lols. just earn myself 50 bucks to get new clothes and so on.
till here then i post, lets look forward till the next day. or might as well later on =.="
chiaos~
Labels: 3rd of Jan 09
1:20 AM
Friday, January 2, 2009
2nd day of 2009.
Just took my bath.
Now while posting, i'm thinking about everything around me.
School will be re-open in the next 3 days; i wasnt sure if im ready and prepare for my 2nd year in ITE.
Time flies pretty quick as it will be my senior year this year.
The malays classmates already planned and confirm to have outing tomorrow at Vivo in the late afternoon. I not sure if i wanna go as i wanna spend my few days with my girlfren and my band.
I spent my time with my family yesterday.
Today i didnt do much activities or going out, as i accompany mum and lil' bro to clinic.
It's sad that both of them fall sick and maybe im falling sick soon.
After accompany both of them to the clinic, at 3.30pm went off to Jurong East to meet a forum member to trade/exchange Xbox360 game.
And speaking about game, i dont think i will have time to play any games.
As im selling away most of my xbox360 games too.
4 games put up for sale in the forum and my headset, i will give it to girlfren.
Cause she needed it, so rather then she spent her money, it might be better i just give to her since im not using it anymore.
So my gaming career will be put aside.
2nd year of ITE, it's time to be serious somehow.
My target for this year, is to graduate from ITE with high marks.
And afterwards? I dont know.
Maybe go to Poly, Higher Nitec or maybe...
maybe Lasalle College of the Arts if possible.
That is what i truely want to go.
But i dont think it's possible if i havent gotten my grade 8 music.
So, this is it. It's a must. These are my targets.
Back to the topic of today...
After came back from JE, went home straight and watched anime.
Completed season 1, continued till season 2 episode 2.
Still a few more episodes to go, but there's always have another time to watch it.
Therefore, contacted girlfren awhile ago.
Whole day she didnt contacted me.
Made me worried somehow so i text her.
Few mins later she called me and afterwards replied me back.
Thank goodness she's fine. lols.
Right now, guess i go and try the game that i traded with.
Thats all for today's update.
Now while posting, i'm thinking about everything around me.
School will be re-open in the next 3 days; i wasnt sure if im ready and prepare for my 2nd year in ITE.
Time flies pretty quick as it will be my senior year this year.
The malays classmates already planned and confirm to have outing tomorrow at Vivo in the late afternoon. I not sure if i wanna go as i wanna spend my few days with my girlfren and my band.
I spent my time with my family yesterday.
Today i didnt do much activities or going out, as i accompany mum and lil' bro to clinic.
It's sad that both of them fall sick and maybe im falling sick soon.
After accompany both of them to the clinic, at 3.30pm went off to Jurong East to meet a forum member to trade/exchange Xbox360 game.
And speaking about game, i dont think i will have time to play any games.
As im selling away most of my xbox360 games too.
4 games put up for sale in the forum and my headset, i will give it to girlfren.
Cause she needed it, so rather then she spent her money, it might be better i just give to her since im not using it anymore.
So my gaming career will be put aside.
2nd year of ITE, it's time to be serious somehow.
My target for this year, is to graduate from ITE with high marks.
And afterwards? I dont know.
Maybe go to Poly, Higher Nitec or maybe...
maybe Lasalle College of the Arts if possible.
That is what i truely want to go.
But i dont think it's possible if i havent gotten my grade 8 music.
So, this is it. It's a must. These are my targets.
Back to the topic of today...
After came back from JE, went home straight and watched anime.
Completed season 1, continued till season 2 episode 2.
Still a few more episodes to go, but there's always have another time to watch it.
Therefore, contacted girlfren awhile ago.
Whole day she didnt contacted me.
Made me worried somehow so i text her.
Few mins later she called me and afterwards replied me back.
Thank goodness she's fine. lols.
Right now, guess i go and try the game that i traded with.
Thats all for today's update.
Labels: 2nd Jan 09
9:00 PM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Sheep! eemmm-beeek~
The Sheep, Goat, or Ram, is thought to be the most artistic or creative sign of the zodiac. The Sheep is artistically talented and has a great sense of fashion. Chances are that this type will prefer to be a designer or painter, or go into the kind of profession where he/she can make the most of his/her gift for creating beautiful things.
These people are extremely beautiful creatures - they think before acting, and try not to hurt anyone's feelings. If it ever happens that the Sheep person causes unforeseen problems, it is very likely that he/she will step forward to rectify the situation. This side of their character helps them maintain a healthy social life as well as enabling them to deal with life's ups and downs.
Sympathy is very important to these people as is the approval of people they respect. However, they sometimes require too much attention and impose too much on those who are close to them.
In his life he will need strong and loyal people to lean on. The outgoing and optimistic characteristics of the Horse, Boar and Tiger will complement his personality. He will also find perfect harmony with the Rabbit. Monkey, Dragon, Rooster, Snake or another Sheep will do very nicely together, too.
The Sheep will not be able to keep up with the highly ambitious and tenacious Rat. These people will also not find sympathy or happiness with the stern people of the Ox year or the practical Dog persons, who will have no patience to listen to the Sheep's petty woes.
Sometimes they are too sensitive for the real world; they often misinterpret situations. They can also be very shy, especially in front of those they like. People under this sign can be insecured. They need to feel loved and protected and are easily drawn into complex predicaments. This being so, they usually shy away from confrontation, pull back when faced with heavy decision-making, and blatantly refuse to take an unpopular stand in a conflict.
Compatibility
(1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
| Rat | 56 - Probably not. |
| Ox | 45 - Why not just be friends. |
| Tiger | 24 - One of the worst combinations. |
| Rabbit | 82 - Nice couple. They'll be happy. |
| Dragon | 74 - A sound and stable relationship. |
| Snake | 69 - This might work. |
| Horse | 82 - Good, they won't bore each other. |
| Sheep | 52 - Better avoid. |
| Monkey | 71 - Oh, well, why not?! |
| Rooster | 42 - They'll be unhappy, even they pretend. |
| Dog | 62 - Difficult, but possible. |
| Pig | 98 - One of the happiest possible combinations |
Ooo..Looks like most of the description were true.
And hey, i love Sheep! Which is me! hehs. Eemm-Beek! >.<"
I also check out Horse, and the compatibility with horse is quite high. o.O
oooo..interesting. =P
Someone is horse u know..i wonder who...lalala~ hehs.
She's a Metal horse and im a Metal Sheep. LOLS!
What a coincidence? I guess so..
Labels: Sheepy Sheepy
10:09 PM
New Year.
Stacked all of our amp like a tower.Lols. Biggest to the smallest.
Still, the smallest belongs to me -.-"
Taken another shot for our amps.Looks kinda cool in this kind of photo shot.
Hehs.
3 of our guitars.2 Guitars, 1 Bass.
Guess which mine?
But it's already obvious isn't it? -.-"
Mirul here, a.k.a: Ketam(Crab)Looks like he gotten mickey mouse glove o.O"
and yeah. censored please~ lols.
Hip-Hop Teddy!Hahs. Groom by me ^^V
Looks cool sia this lil' teddy bear.
Yeah first of all, Happy New Year to everyone.
May all of you have joy and living a great life in the year 2009.
Lols.
It's time to change this and that, here and there.
Maybe even change myself. I guess so..
Earlier on in the late afternoon, mirul text me if if whether im free or not for today.
So i replied him i'm damn free anyway.
He asked me to bring my guitar and amp to have jamming session at his home.
I thought about it, why not?
After all we got some new songs need to cover on and could teach mahdi some of the guitar tabs too as he not really sure about his rhythm guitar tabs.
At night, mirul's mum treat us Nasi Ayam.
Aww, thanks a lot auntie! Spent too much for us everytime. Hehs. >.<"
Till 10.30pm, me and mahdi head back home by 913.
Reached home few mins later, gone straight to my room, change into my home clothes and take a bath, and afterwards checkout the old comp of ours.
As our old computer gotten sound card problem, so i'm here to fix it.
Have a phonecall with Sab and Fadz before New Year and before done my computer.
Countdown together and all we did was laughing here and there, teasing one another non-stop.
Hahas. Thanks for the fun and laughters. Really brought up my day though.
Guess till here I update then.
Tomorrow will be having family time at East Coast Park again!
Yes! I can go checkout the miracle seaside again at the end. Hehs.
While I having my family time, mahdi and mirul will going off to JB, Skudai together with mahdi's family as they will having fun times playing/shooting paintball fight.
Aww, I can't go as dad worried bout me -.-"
Nevermind, guess one day I will able to go. Hahs.
Have fun guys.
And Happy 2009..!
Chiaos~
Labels: New Year
1:08 AM
