Thursday, February 28, 2008
Hmm...
Alright alright. Things will be better in no time. Guess I take it too seriously.
Yes although we were seperated, I also appriciate to treat me as your Bestfriend. Well, relationship can't last that long. So I guess our friendship do may last forever. Sorry lerrr if I not really understand you, cause it's just hard for me to..Nvm, you will understand though. Hee..^^
Thanks for being there for me whenever I need someone. Right now, most problems I could just share with you right?
Haiz, today, stupid EES subject. I HATE Maths. Its the first in my "Blacklist". Maths is my most hatted "Thing" in my life. My subject was damn freaking hard, till I gotten a "BrainFreeze + Brainstorm." Wow, imagine that. Sooner or later, I gonna get Phobia of maths. What else can I do? I can't just stop school right? Guess I just need to Endure the stupid pain, and move on to my life. I Gurantee that I may fail my EES, but I will score for my IFA. Can't just give up easily, try my best to do it, whether it pass or fail. Cause right now, the only thing in my life is Music.
Yes, music is my passion, it's in my blood. When I didn't practice my piano for 1 day, I felt sooo guilty. Hopefully, my future will be better with Music although my education is not that good.
Well, thats all I could updated today. I skipped my 2nd lesson today. It should start at 4pm, but I skipped it and went home. My brain hurting me, my head is spinning. Gosh, wish that subject was never been born. Lol!
Yes although we were seperated, I also appriciate to treat me as your Bestfriend. Well, relationship can't last that long. So I guess our friendship do may last forever. Sorry lerrr if I not really understand you, cause it's just hard for me to..Nvm, you will understand though. Hee..^^
Thanks for being there for me whenever I need someone. Right now, most problems I could just share with you right?
Haiz, today, stupid EES subject. I HATE Maths. Its the first in my "Blacklist". Maths is my most hatted "Thing" in my life. My subject was damn freaking hard, till I gotten a "BrainFreeze + Brainstorm." Wow, imagine that. Sooner or later, I gonna get Phobia of maths. What else can I do? I can't just stop school right? Guess I just need to Endure the stupid pain, and move on to my life. I Gurantee that I may fail my EES, but I will score for my IFA. Can't just give up easily, try my best to do it, whether it pass or fail. Cause right now, the only thing in my life is Music.
Yes, music is my passion, it's in my blood. When I didn't practice my piano for 1 day, I felt sooo guilty. Hopefully, my future will be better with Music although my education is not that good.
Well, thats all I could updated today. I skipped my 2nd lesson today. It should start at 4pm, but I skipped it and went home. My brain hurting me, my head is spinning. Gosh, wish that subject was never been born. Lol!
5:23 PM
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Ouch..
Yeah, ouch! My left foot, blisters here and there. Sucks to the core..
I can't enjoy sports, can't walk properly, can't play soccer, can't even rush myself. My first toe, it's like half of the skin torn out, damn it is so freaking PAINFUL! And it shiver by itself when contact with water. The other 2 or 3 blisters are at the normal place, the foot. Luckily the skin haven't tear away, if it does, then I will suffer 5 times than this.
Right foot isn't that bad, only 2 small blisters which didn't hurt me. Damn I knew I should have bring my sports shoes. Cause yesterday during P.E, boys having fun by playing Street Soccer.
Imagine if you bear footed on the hot, burning platform and you ran here and there. Not long enough your feet skin will tear out. Darn it!
Today didn't go to school, can't wear shoes, only way is to see the doctor, have an excuse chit for wearing slippers to school, and MC for today. Luckily there's an Antiseptic cream. So just need to apply at my blisters and within 5 days hopefully it will cure. Right now, 5 days of "Slippers Walking". Stubborn of me. Gah!
Well, thats all, now its 12nn, wish I could meet her later or something. Have some fun time with her. Haha, after all, both of us haven't go out before. We did met, at night, I willing to cycle from my house till her block. Imagine like, from Admiralty MRT Station to Woodlands Checkpoint, not Interchange arh, CHECKPOINT. The old Woodlands, heh.
Both of us talk in the phone, and I cycle and talk at the same time. Lol.
Reached her block, not gonna spread out what block she lived in.
When I reached, the first thing I thought is that she definitely stayed 2nd story.
Then, sooner or later, she did mentioned that she lived on 2nd story...Ooops. Haha
I can't enjoy sports, can't walk properly, can't play soccer, can't even rush myself. My first toe, it's like half of the skin torn out, damn it is so freaking PAINFUL! And it shiver by itself when contact with water. The other 2 or 3 blisters are at the normal place, the foot. Luckily the skin haven't tear away, if it does, then I will suffer 5 times than this.
Right foot isn't that bad, only 2 small blisters which didn't hurt me. Damn I knew I should have bring my sports shoes. Cause yesterday during P.E, boys having fun by playing Street Soccer.
Imagine if you bear footed on the hot, burning platform and you ran here and there. Not long enough your feet skin will tear out. Darn it!
Today didn't go to school, can't wear shoes, only way is to see the doctor, have an excuse chit for wearing slippers to school, and MC for today. Luckily there's an Antiseptic cream. So just need to apply at my blisters and within 5 days hopefully it will cure. Right now, 5 days of "Slippers Walking". Stubborn of me. Gah!
Well, thats all, now its 12nn, wish I could meet her later or something. Have some fun time with her. Haha, after all, both of us haven't go out before. We did met, at night, I willing to cycle from my house till her block. Imagine like, from Admiralty MRT Station to Woodlands Checkpoint, not Interchange arh, CHECKPOINT. The old Woodlands, heh.
Both of us talk in the phone, and I cycle and talk at the same time. Lol.
Reached her block, not gonna spread out what block she lived in.
When I reached, the first thing I thought is that she definitely stayed 2nd story.
Then, sooner or later, she did mentioned that she lived on 2nd story...Ooops. Haha
She made me like a fool, asked me to find her. It was like taking 10-15mins looking for her.
Haha, well I still enjoyed it though. Fun times.
When I found her, she giggle, blushed, turning her head here and there. It was like she's in excitement, nervous and shy at the same time.
Well, 1 thing for sure is that I will never forget this "Incident" happenned. Hee..
But, it's saddening that I didn't managed to go out with her.
Haiz, wish one day we could. Cause if possible, I'm gonna make it a memorable day, a day that you will never forget it. 100% for sure!
11:51 AM
Continued...
People asking me, whether I'm single or attached. I purposely say "I'm attached". I said that because no one can replace you in my heart, my heart is bound only for the one, which is you. Well we did be together before, only that it's not official. That's why I kept asking whether if we could go out someday?
That night, U asked me, "Why you sounded like you leaving me?" But let me tell you this, Whatever happen to us, I promised, I swear to my life, that I WILL not leave U. I may have left all my Ex, but for you, you were so special, I treasured you the most, cause you were everything to me.
If the bitch bothers you again, please tell her that You Will Always Be With Me, You Will Not Let Go Of Me. I know you love me, and you did said "Of course I will not leave you" when I ask you the similar question before.
That night, U asked me, "Why you sounded like you leaving me?" But let me tell you this, Whatever happen to us, I promised, I swear to my life, that I WILL not leave U. I may have left all my Ex, but for you, you were so special, I treasured you the most, cause you were everything to me.
If the bitch bothers you again, please tell her that You Will Always Be With Me, You Will Not Let Go Of Me. I know you love me, and you did said "Of course I will not leave you" when I ask you the similar question before.
Most of my friends all said to me, "Eh, just leave that girl lah. Leave your hopes, nothing you can do already, why would you still wanna bother this girl? Waste your time.."
But, I disagree on them, I even talk back to them in a harsh tone, "Why would I wanna leave a girl who care and concern, help me alot and be there whenever I down? Isn't that a good thing? And it's ain't easy to find one like her. If I really have true love, then I won't leave her just like that. Cause it's a damn freaking wrong to do such a thing. If you want, you do lah, one day if you gotten retribution, god punish you, giving consequences, then it will serve you right!"
I did everything I could to gain your trust by helping you, being there for you, cheer you up everytime, not to hurt your feelings, not to shout or angry at you.
Right now the Trust may have fallen apart but I wound't mind bout it, cause you know why? I Don't Give Up easily. I didn't give up hope and trust. Whatever bad things you did to me, I still will continue to trust you. Right now, things will start all over again right from the beginning.
Everything I said is to let you know, not to fight with you. Sorry if you felt that I pampered you too much, but this is to show how I care and concern for my girl. And I got no intention of fighting or quarrel with you, cause I respect you very3 much.
I did everything I could to gain your trust by helping you, being there for you, cheer you up everytime, not to hurt your feelings, not to shout or angry at you.
Right now the Trust may have fallen apart but I wound't mind bout it, cause you know why? I Don't Give Up easily. I didn't give up hope and trust. Whatever bad things you did to me, I still will continue to trust you. Right now, things will start all over again right from the beginning.
Everything I said is to let you know, not to fight with you. Sorry if you felt that I pampered you too much, but this is to show how I care and concern for my girl. And I got no intention of fighting or quarrel with you, cause I respect you very3 much.
Hopefully you won't Misunderstood :)
2:06 AM
Just to End this way??
Is it supposed to end this way?
Just like blink of an eye and everything falls apart?
Ku paham perasaan kamu sejak minggu lepas yang tidak harus terjadi begitu..
Tetapi, perasaan ku terhadap mu sangat kuat and kekal, aku tidak tahu bagaimana harus ku lepaskan mu..
Aku sudah berjanji kepada diriku dan tuhan yang Walaupun ape2 yang terjadi, Secara hidup atau mati, ku tidak akan lupekan/lepaskan kamu dari hatiku...
Haish, semakin lama, aku terasa yang cintaku tidak berbalas...
Ku tahu cinta ini kadang-kala menggambil masa..
Fikiran aku menggangu selalu, adakah kamu betul2 Sayangkan aku? Cintakan aku? Rindukan aku? Atau hanya sengaja mempermainkan perasaanku? Hatiku?
Tapi, perasaan dan hatiku yakin yang kamu memang sejati terhadap aku.
Setiap masa tuhan menduga kita, mesti ada pekara yang terjadi.
Seseorang yang dengki dengan kita, iri hati dengan kita, dia akan membuat apa sahaja untuk putuskan hubungan kita. Tuhan hendak menguji kekuatan kita, adahkah cinta kita akan kekal dan boleh menahan selama hidup kita? Atau ini hanya "Cinta Monyet"?
Tetapi aku pasti, cinta kita ini sangat setia dan boleh kekal selama-lamanya.
Kerana kalau kamu memang sudi bersama ku, cintakan and sayangkan ku, Aku akan membalas balik secara memegang tangan mu, memeluk mu dan mencium pipi mu. Menjaga dirimu, bersama dengan mu dan tidak menyakiti perasaan dan hati baik itu.
Inilah salah satu perjanjian aku terhadap mu.
Walaupun kamu menangis dan tidak memberitahu aku, aku boleh merasa yang kamu tengah sedih, pasrah. Apa sahaja yang terjadi, ku akan tahu.
Inilah diakibat oleh Cinta yang sejati.
Setiap hari ku ingatkan mu, menunggu mu.
Setiap malam ku bermimpi mu untuk bertemu.
Dan berdoa kepada Tuhan yang dia akan melindungi mu, kuatkan semangat mu, maafkan dosa mu dan menunjukkan perjalanan yang lurus, yang betul.
Ku tidak niat untuk menyakiti hati mu, tetapi hanya bercinta kepada mu, sedarkan kamu apa yang kita akan menjalani hidup ini.
Ku harap kita boleh bersama lagi dan boleh tanggung Dugaan daripada Tuhan.
1:00 AM
Friday, February 22, 2008
Dedication to you, Suhana..
Hopefully things will be better for you.
Inilah lagu untuk kamu..
And hope that you won't forget all the great times we shared together..
**Pada Syurga Di Wajahmu**
Tuhan sengaja menduga kita
Di mana kesabaran manusia
Engkau isteri yang ku sanjungi
Lambang semangat cinta dunia
Pasti engkau terkenangkan
Peristiwa semalam
Saatku menggadaikan cinta
Pada onak dan duri asmara
Entah di mana akal fikiran
Hingga sesat di jalan yang terang
Ini suratan yang diberikan
Menguji kekuatan jiwa
Waktu engkau ku lupakan
Dalam kemarau panjang
Betapa hatimu rela
Demi melihatku bahagia
Kau menahan segala siksa
Di hati hanya berdoa
Mengharapkan aku kan pulang
Agar terang cahaya
Ku yang hanyut di arus dosa
Di laut ribut melanda
Dan berenang ke pelabuhan
Kasih sayang sebenar
Air mata cinta darimu
Ku menjadi rindu
Pada syurga di wajahmu
Tiada tanda kau berdosa
Biar aku cium tangan mu
Membasuh lumpur di muka
Ku yang hanyut berarus dosa
Di laut ribut melanda
Kau menahan segala seksa
Di hati hanya berdoa
Ku berenang ke pelabuhan
Mencari cinta sebenar
Kan ku tahan apa hukuman
Di hati hanya berdoa
Biar aku cium tangan mu
Sekali lagi bersama
Bukan sekali jalan berduri
Hanya tuhan yang pasti
Mengerti...
Inilah lagu untuk kamu..
And hope that you won't forget all the great times we shared together..
**Pada Syurga Di Wajahmu**
Tuhan sengaja menduga kita
Di mana kesabaran manusia
Engkau isteri yang ku sanjungi
Lambang semangat cinta dunia
Pasti engkau terkenangkan
Peristiwa semalam
Saatku menggadaikan cinta
Pada onak dan duri asmara
Entah di mana akal fikiran
Hingga sesat di jalan yang terang
Ini suratan yang diberikan
Menguji kekuatan jiwa
Waktu engkau ku lupakan
Dalam kemarau panjang
Betapa hatimu rela
Demi melihatku bahagia
Kau menahan segala siksa
Di hati hanya berdoa
Mengharapkan aku kan pulang
Agar terang cahaya
Ku yang hanyut di arus dosa
Di laut ribut melanda
Dan berenang ke pelabuhan
Kasih sayang sebenar
Air mata cinta darimu
Ku menjadi rindu
Pada syurga di wajahmu
Tiada tanda kau berdosa
Biar aku cium tangan mu
Membasuh lumpur di muka
Ku yang hanyut berarus dosa
Di laut ribut melanda
Kau menahan segala seksa
Di hati hanya berdoa
Ku berenang ke pelabuhan
Mencari cinta sebenar
Kan ku tahan apa hukuman
Di hati hanya berdoa
Biar aku cium tangan mu
Sekali lagi bersama
Bukan sekali jalan berduri
Hanya tuhan yang pasti
Mengerti...
9:07 AM
Heartbroken..
Why Suhana, Why??
Why must you end the story like this? Must you solve the problem like this? Isn't there any good solution rather than both of us being seperated?
Then what if the girl still keep on bothering you, so there would be no point of us leaving each other alone. You know that I love you soo much, and I know you did love me too, but you always hide the feelings towards me, not letting me know. You don't have to follow this path by forgetting each other, cause the girl just jealous of us. Just leave her alone, please, I willing to help but you wound't let me. The only thing you did is just absorbing the pain and suffering. You have to fight back, you have the rights to do so.
You don't know how I truly felt. All the pain and suffering I encountered, you didn't know every night, I kept thinking over and over again, my tears keep streaming down my cheeks everytime till like there's no more tears left in my eyes.
It's hard to loose someone like you, like it's hard to throw a diamond into a sea.
Now its like 2 in the morning, I can't sleep, although you forced me to sleep. You told me to stop thinking bout it, but what about you? You keep on thinking the whole night till morning and crying over and over again. It's hard for me for not worrying bout u. Cause every here and there you always being hurt by someone. And I'm here not to hurt your feelings, but giving you support, making you feel better and give you comfort, try to understand about it.
Sometimes my heart keep hurting me, like a knife stabbing my heart, I'm worried that what if I need to leave this world?Rest In Peace? What will happen to you? But whatever happens, my spirit or soul will always be with you.
Harap2 kamu paham dan berhenti perkare ini..
Ku tiada sesiapa untuk mencintai kecuali mu..
Kerana hanya kamu lah di hati ku..
Ku sayang pada mu, dan slalu berdoa supaya tiada perkara yg burok terjadi kepada mu..
Tiada sesiapa boleh mengganti seseorang gadis seperti Suhana..
Ku akan menunggukan mu sehingga masa ku tiba untuk meninggalkan dunia ini..
Inilah janji yang setia dari hatiku..
Dengan Kesayangan,
Ahmad
**Dying, Suffering, Crying, the whole morning**
Why must you end the story like this? Must you solve the problem like this? Isn't there any good solution rather than both of us being seperated?
Then what if the girl still keep on bothering you, so there would be no point of us leaving each other alone. You know that I love you soo much, and I know you did love me too, but you always hide the feelings towards me, not letting me know. You don't have to follow this path by forgetting each other, cause the girl just jealous of us. Just leave her alone, please, I willing to help but you wound't let me. The only thing you did is just absorbing the pain and suffering. You have to fight back, you have the rights to do so.
You don't know how I truly felt. All the pain and suffering I encountered, you didn't know every night, I kept thinking over and over again, my tears keep streaming down my cheeks everytime till like there's no more tears left in my eyes.
It's hard to loose someone like you, like it's hard to throw a diamond into a sea.
Now its like 2 in the morning, I can't sleep, although you forced me to sleep. You told me to stop thinking bout it, but what about you? You keep on thinking the whole night till morning and crying over and over again. It's hard for me for not worrying bout u. Cause every here and there you always being hurt by someone. And I'm here not to hurt your feelings, but giving you support, making you feel better and give you comfort, try to understand about it.
Sometimes my heart keep hurting me, like a knife stabbing my heart, I'm worried that what if I need to leave this world?Rest In Peace? What will happen to you? But whatever happens, my spirit or soul will always be with you.
Harap2 kamu paham dan berhenti perkare ini..
Ku tiada sesiapa untuk mencintai kecuali mu..
Kerana hanya kamu lah di hati ku..
Ku sayang pada mu, dan slalu berdoa supaya tiada perkara yg burok terjadi kepada mu..
Tiada sesiapa boleh mengganti seseorang gadis seperti Suhana..
Ku akan menunggukan mu sehingga masa ku tiba untuk meninggalkan dunia ini..
Inilah janji yang setia dari hatiku..
Dengan Kesayangan,
Ahmad
**Dying, Suffering, Crying, the whole morning**
1:32 AM
Thursday, February 21, 2008
A sudden Retribution????
HAIZ...
This one for you Suhana, please read it..
Just as good things coming by, enjoying life with her, with full of Romance together, a sudden 'Evil' thing sabotaging the two of us.
As school ended earlier around 2.30pm, I got no idea where to go, so I just went home straight. Usual days, taking bus 31 opposite from my school and reached to Tampines Interchange to changed bus, took me like 15mins, so the time would be around 2.45pm.
Then from Tampines Int. I took bus 969 straight to home. I got two choices to go down at the bustop; either go down to Admiralty MRT station or at the Woodlands Interchange. Since I was too tired and lazy to go to Woodlands Int. I therefore go down at Admiralty MRT. From Tampines to Woodlands was like 45-60mins, so reached there like around 3.30pm+.
From Admiralty gone back home by taking 913, so in the end I reached like around 4pm+.
At home, I waiting for Her, the one I love, wait till she beep my hp. I fall asleep at my bed and a sudden ringing on my Hp. I knew that would be Her cause the ringing tone is different than the rest. While my Hp ringing, it showed "Suhana Hp2(Mum's) Calling". Meaning she's using her mum's hp, she said her prepaid low so temporarily used that in the moment.
The time of the "Received Call" is 6.21pm, 20/2/2008, which is yesterday. I rejected the call, and then call the number back as what I usually do. When someone pick up the phone, the voice wasn't her, I asked "Is this Nana?". Then the voice said, "No, this is her mother", in malay language of course. I ask her mum that someone called my hp just now, she said that "Anak Sedare" or something, I forgot, playing with her phone and accidentally call me. So I said, "Oh ok, I thought it was nana." Her mum said back to me that Nana is not at home, she gone out. Then I ended the call with manners, "Ok, thank you auntie."
Waited for her till night, at around 11pm+ or something, she's in msn, a sudden sentence said, "I Hate You, with the Emoticons shows Heartbroken, the (U) sign." I asked her why she had this feelings towards me, she said she saw me with another girl holding hands together at Causeway Point in the afternoon. I was like "Huh?" since when I gone to CWP? The whole afternoon I asleep waiting for her, and now she said I gone out with a girl? Suhana said the guy really looks like me, she called my name, the guy turning around here and there. And she added that the girl called her up and force her to stay away from me, vulgarities to her and her families, making her suffer. Nana told me not to talk to her, contact her anymore and said "LIAR".
I wanted to know, why people keep saying bout me? Hate me? Frame me? Can't I live in peace? Want me to die isit? Is that what people want from me? Just an unknown girl called Suhana and made her suffer, now I and her were like, not getting closer anymore. Now she's having trouble trusting me. My heart sank deeply, so deep that I couldn't resist it, making me wanna made all bad things to myself. Like I wanna commited suicide. I never felt this feelings in my whole damn life till now.
Nana was the one I treasured most, she was like a diamond to me, and both of us like bonding with one another. If she's hurt, I'm hurt, if she wanna commit sucide, I would do the same thing.
I can't afford to loose this kind of girl. I'm not sure how long will this last. But I wished things will be back to normal and lovely way.
Whatever happens, I will not giving up on her. As I am still love her, care for her, be there for her, and promise not to break her heart and hurt her feelings.
So please Nana, would you trust me, the one you did love, or an unknown girl, a devil made you suffer? Please think about it, why would I wanna hurt your feelings if I really love you? I felt so guilty that I wanna jumping off a 12th story building. Like just wanna end my life just like that.
I'm soo sorry if I break your heart into million pieces although it wasn't me. You said stop thinking bout it, but I can't, either do you. Please, I want everything back to normal and be together, thats all I could say. You can ask your mum about the afternoon phonecall incident.
Till here then, hopefully to hear any news from you.
Love you, Hug you, Kiss you....
With Love,
Ahmad..
This one for you Suhana, please read it..
Just as good things coming by, enjoying life with her, with full of Romance together, a sudden 'Evil' thing sabotaging the two of us.
As school ended earlier around 2.30pm, I got no idea where to go, so I just went home straight. Usual days, taking bus 31 opposite from my school and reached to Tampines Interchange to changed bus, took me like 15mins, so the time would be around 2.45pm.
Then from Tampines Int. I took bus 969 straight to home. I got two choices to go down at the bustop; either go down to Admiralty MRT station or at the Woodlands Interchange. Since I was too tired and lazy to go to Woodlands Int. I therefore go down at Admiralty MRT. From Tampines to Woodlands was like 45-60mins, so reached there like around 3.30pm+.
From Admiralty gone back home by taking 913, so in the end I reached like around 4pm+.
At home, I waiting for Her, the one I love, wait till she beep my hp. I fall asleep at my bed and a sudden ringing on my Hp. I knew that would be Her cause the ringing tone is different than the rest. While my Hp ringing, it showed "Suhana Hp2(Mum's) Calling". Meaning she's using her mum's hp, she said her prepaid low so temporarily used that in the moment.
The time of the "Received Call" is 6.21pm, 20/2/2008, which is yesterday. I rejected the call, and then call the number back as what I usually do. When someone pick up the phone, the voice wasn't her, I asked "Is this Nana?". Then the voice said, "No, this is her mother", in malay language of course. I ask her mum that someone called my hp just now, she said that "Anak Sedare" or something, I forgot, playing with her phone and accidentally call me. So I said, "Oh ok, I thought it was nana." Her mum said back to me that Nana is not at home, she gone out. Then I ended the call with manners, "Ok, thank you auntie."
Waited for her till night, at around 11pm+ or something, she's in msn, a sudden sentence said, "I Hate You, with the Emoticons shows Heartbroken, the (U) sign." I asked her why she had this feelings towards me, she said she saw me with another girl holding hands together at Causeway Point in the afternoon. I was like "Huh?" since when I gone to CWP? The whole afternoon I asleep waiting for her, and now she said I gone out with a girl? Suhana said the guy really looks like me, she called my name, the guy turning around here and there. And she added that the girl called her up and force her to stay away from me, vulgarities to her and her families, making her suffer. Nana told me not to talk to her, contact her anymore and said "LIAR".
I wanted to know, why people keep saying bout me? Hate me? Frame me? Can't I live in peace? Want me to die isit? Is that what people want from me? Just an unknown girl called Suhana and made her suffer, now I and her were like, not getting closer anymore. Now she's having trouble trusting me. My heart sank deeply, so deep that I couldn't resist it, making me wanna made all bad things to myself. Like I wanna commited suicide. I never felt this feelings in my whole damn life till now.
Nana was the one I treasured most, she was like a diamond to me, and both of us like bonding with one another. If she's hurt, I'm hurt, if she wanna commit sucide, I would do the same thing.
I can't afford to loose this kind of girl. I'm not sure how long will this last. But I wished things will be back to normal and lovely way.
Whatever happens, I will not giving up on her. As I am still love her, care for her, be there for her, and promise not to break her heart and hurt her feelings.
So please Nana, would you trust me, the one you did love, or an unknown girl, a devil made you suffer? Please think about it, why would I wanna hurt your feelings if I really love you? I felt so guilty that I wanna jumping off a 12th story building. Like just wanna end my life just like that.
I'm soo sorry if I break your heart into million pieces although it wasn't me. You said stop thinking bout it, but I can't, either do you. Please, I want everything back to normal and be together, thats all I could say. You can ask your mum about the afternoon phonecall incident.
Till here then, hopefully to hear any news from you.
Love you, Hug you, Kiss you....
With Love,
Ahmad..
10:22 AM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Falling In Love? Or Not?
Oh, I didn't notice that we're in Mid February. Damn, how fast time flies. It was just like blink of an eye, and a sudden changes appeared. Gosh, I've been too busy till I didn't notice the date.
As time pass by, most of the time I called Her during night time. Chit-chat, have fun, and getting each other better. But, sooner or later, feelings started to get bigger and higher. It was like wasn't best-friend anymore, it was like, couple maybe?
Not sure why or how, I kept dreaming about Her, about Us. The feelings were so strong, that I am really worried and miss Her soooo much. Whenever She's down, I'll try and be there to cheer Her up. Make Her laugh, make Her mood goes up again.
Once, I've dream something that was touching and romantic, but suddenly when I told her bout it, She said She do dream the SAME thing.
Only slight changes about Us.
In my dream, She's the one in pain and I be there for her,
but in her dream, I'm in pain and She be there for me.
At the end of our dream, both shared the same encounter/endings.
So unexpected isn't it?
So is that what people called Bonding? Or True Love?
Everytime, when our call gonna be over, that is the time to have Romantic scene.
But why, I accidentally express all my feelings towards her.
In the end, she kept knowing my feelings towards her, and she were blushing and so on.
But for me, I not sure what would her feelings will be.
I would really wanna know bout it.
And I still want to know, if she could actually accepted me this time?
She did actually expressed it, but I coudn't tell bout it,
cause maybe it's too personal? And I worried I would hurt her heart.
Most of the time, I could predict something good or bad might happen.
But this time, it's hard to predict bout her, about us.
Whether we will be together?
Whether we will forget each other?
It is soo Unpredictable...
That's all I can say for now. Maybe somedays I would continue the story..
>This is a note to her:
All my words are sincere to you.
I love you till the end of my life. I promise I wound't break your heart, as I would take the relationship seriously. Cause a gerl like you, is the gerl that is right for me, and it's hard for me to find one again. The day I stop loving you is the day when I close my eyes forever.
I enjoy being with you every moment...
As time pass by, most of the time I called Her during night time. Chit-chat, have fun, and getting each other better. But, sooner or later, feelings started to get bigger and higher. It was like wasn't best-friend anymore, it was like, couple maybe?
Not sure why or how, I kept dreaming about Her, about Us. The feelings were so strong, that I am really worried and miss Her soooo much. Whenever She's down, I'll try and be there to cheer Her up. Make Her laugh, make Her mood goes up again.
Once, I've dream something that was touching and romantic, but suddenly when I told her bout it, She said She do dream the SAME thing.
Only slight changes about Us.
In my dream, She's the one in pain and I be there for her,
but in her dream, I'm in pain and She be there for me.
At the end of our dream, both shared the same encounter/endings.
So unexpected isn't it?
So is that what people called Bonding? Or True Love?
Everytime, when our call gonna be over, that is the time to have Romantic scene.
But why, I accidentally express all my feelings towards her.
In the end, she kept knowing my feelings towards her, and she were blushing and so on.
But for me, I not sure what would her feelings will be.
I would really wanna know bout it.
And I still want to know, if she could actually accepted me this time?
She did actually expressed it, but I coudn't tell bout it,
cause maybe it's too personal? And I worried I would hurt her heart.
Most of the time, I could predict something good or bad might happen.
But this time, it's hard to predict bout her, about us.
Whether we will be together?
Whether we will forget each other?
It is soo Unpredictable...
That's all I can say for now. Maybe somedays I would continue the story..
>This is a note to her:
All my words are sincere to you.
I love you till the end of my life. I promise I wound't break your heart, as I would take the relationship seriously. Cause a gerl like you, is the gerl that is right for me, and it's hard for me to find one again. The day I stop loving you is the day when I close my eyes forever.
I enjoy being with you every moment...
7:21 PM
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Saddening thing...
Haish, you guys read up my previous posts right? Bout my dreamgirl?
Well, she answered my question. But it didn't turn out the way I supposed to be.
So, yeah, she declined. But she said in a lovely way, or courteous way. Its ok, I'm fine, maybe it's not my fate or something. What to do, dah telah terjadi. So, all I have to do now is forget everything? And be bestfriends with her.
So, in school, my lesson should finish at around 5.30pm. But, as my theory was started in the morning, so my teacher cancelled the afternoon lesson. That's why I ended fast. Hah, lucky me.
Well, that's all lah I can say. Oh and Fudin here's the lyrics. I typing out again just for you lah. Since you can't see the lyrics in the previous post.
The stars in the night
twinkle twinkle very bright,
Like the diamond I gave you
bling bling through the light.
As the moon in the sky
giving out the lovely moonlight,
It's like me giving you a light in your life.
It will always shine to you
every day and night
Cause it will always be there
to brighten up your heart.
So baby girl,
hope you will be with me
As I will be there
whenever you needed me.
That is all. **Peace Out**
12:11 AM
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Days are normal..Love Is Coming
Yes. Most shops are opening their business as usual. Some of it still busy with their Chinese New Year thingy. Damn difficult to eat "Normal" food during CNY. As all of us know all the coffee shops closed and only left with fast food restaurant. Not sure when CNY ends, and all I care now is about Valentine's Day. All the lovers celebrate with all their heart, and those who is single, celebrate with their own besties or good friends.
Well what can I say, not all people have girlfriend or boyfriend. Their status still single doesn't mean they can't celebrate right? Anyway I learn much from my dearest friend, Suhana. I can say that she's romantic, lovable, caring and GOOD GIRL, haha, seriously. Well, she care and concern for another, making poem for her love ones, and giving few good advices. Most of her words I was touched when I heard it. It's like, not easy to find this type of girls, or should I say ladies? Heard some of her pityful stories, I willingly to help her, calm her down, give advices back to her too. I appriciate to have this kind of friend, really really do appriciate. Which is not easy to find Good Friends. And In The End, she treated me as her "bestfriend".
Thank you for trusting me, Suhana.
I'm glad that you didn't look down or me or something.
But as time goes by, I'm having feelings towards her. Not know why I did, but seems to me she's sort of different than the others. And if I say she's a good girl, means she is a really really good girl. I'm asking myself this questions somehow;
"Is this the girl that I seek?
Seeking for the right one?
The Only One?
The one that I could be with, as long as possible?
The one that I could really show care and love towards her?
The one and only in my heart?"
Every Day & Night I kept wandering and wandering, will she be with me??
Every Night I pray to god that she will always be safe
and nothing bad happen to her.
and nothing bad happen to her.
Cause I don't want to see her suffer and sad.
I want to see her enjoying her life in a safe world.
So Surely guys should make the move first rather than the ladies.
In The End, I did made my move.
I ask her, ask the question.
The hope of my question, "Will you be my girl? "Can we have a relationship? A long-term relationship?"
My heart pounding so fast when I asked her.
Right now, I just have to wait for her answer.
Pray and hope that I could be with her.
But it's true that I can't hurry love. It takes time.
I willing to sacrifice myself for her,
be there whenver she need me,
bring her joy and happiness.
I could only end this story by saying a quote that was done by her before.
"The day I will stop Loving you is the day when I close my eyes Forever"
This "Lyrics" is for her:
The stars in the night
twinkle twinkle very bright,
Like the diamond I gave you
bling bling through the light.
As the moon in the sky
giving out the lovely moonlight
It's like me giving you
a light in your life.
It will always shine to you
every day and night
Cause it will always be there
to brighten up your heart.
So baby girl,
hope you will be with me
As I will be there
whenever you needed me.
6:29 PM
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Eve of CNY
Wah, eve of CNY. Shops all having half-day. So just now went out to Woodlands Mart in the Noon. Fork & Spoon closed, so just go buy Vitagen Colgen, withdrawed money for my mum and thats it. My mum cooked today, but as you know, I didn't eat rice cause I wanna start my diet and trying to loose weight again. So just ate light meal. Drink Milo+Overtine. Haha, I knew I mixed that since I'm a toddler. Lol, still can remember that kind of taste till now. Nyahaha.
In the afternoon, chatting with my friends, playing Counterstrike and after that practice my piano. Damn the song was hard, "Until The Last Moment". It was like quarter of the song is done, till have a lot of notes to cover. And waiting for "Her" to online in Msn or Sms or call me. But too bad the whole day she is not in. She busy with her family or something. Hopefully I could get her call later this night. Willing to talk to her. And kinda miss her too. Well, now I posting this after my exercise. Yes, started to do all my work-out again. Well that's it for today. Peace***
In the afternoon, chatting with my friends, playing Counterstrike and after that practice my piano. Damn the song was hard, "Until The Last Moment". It was like quarter of the song is done, till have a lot of notes to cover. And waiting for "Her" to online in Msn or Sms or call me. But too bad the whole day she is not in. She busy with her family or something. Hopefully I could get her call later this night. Willing to talk to her. And kinda miss her too. Well, now I posting this after my exercise. Yes, started to do all my work-out again. Well that's it for today. Peace***
8:31 PM
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Day of FUN-FUN-FUN
Yeah, today is the 5th of Feb, and tomorrow is the eve of Chinese New Year, which means in the next 2-3 days, NO SCHOOL, NO HOMEWORK and MUSIC IS ALL THE WAY! Yesterday and today I didn't pratice my piano, so what else can I do? This few days are the days which I'm gonna make it useful to me, and I ain't gonna waste any damn precious time.
Today, should only have 3 lesson, but the "WeCare" lesson was cancelled by my teacher, so left Lifeskill Lesson and P.E. Lifeskill started at 9.30am, ended at 11.30am, sounds stupid and boring, didn't really bother much bout it. Then after the lesson, needed to wait till 2pm cause of P.E lesson, so I already planning of "Cabut From Class" but in the end, I didn't. Luckily though, because if I did, my Napfa scores will be turned to "0". Well, most of my classmates didn't turn out for the lesson, my P.E teacher said, "Basket! Want to cabut-cabut only, since they got Chinese New Year Mood. 30% of the P.E test which is the Napfa, I gonna make them 0".
I was like, "OMG, if I did cabut, then I am really fucking stupid". So we played street soccer just now before the P.E lesson, and once it started, we played basketball. Wanna know how many turned up for P.E? Only 12 ppl did. HAHAHA!
So tomorrow should have half-day lesson as other classes do, or school. But since tomorrow lesson topic was covered on Monday, my teacher actually cancelled her lesson. DAMN GREAT to hear that, afternoon no lesson, so left 1 lesson which is the EES, and she actually cancelled it. SOOO, that means NO LESSON, NO SCHOOL!!!! WOOOOoooooo. My whole class shouted like freaking mad. Jumping around here and there, till they didn't even care. XD wahahaha.
Valentine's Day is coming, those who celebrating it, Happy Valentine's Day. Wish all the best for you guys relationship. Speaking bout relationship, I wish I would be with this girl. I really in love with her, and this time, I will make my move really really carefully. Maybe I would ask her out for a date or just "Jalan2". And made my move before Valentine's Day. I KNOW I KNOW that asking for relationship during Valentine's Day is ROMANTIC, haha, but I don't think I have the time to ask her out during that day, cause surely my classes would ended late. Which is around 5.30pm, so reached home like 7+? She still in Secondary School. Sec 4 I think, yah, she sec 4. And she can't go out at night. So, what to do, just asking before that "Lovely Day". Hmm, does she knows that I'm into her? Crazy for her and so on? If she do suspect it, then I hope we could be together. MAN I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HER!
And one more thing, I WOULD BE NUTS TO SAY THIS IN MY BLOG, cause everyone would sooo freaking ask me or something. Hahaha, whatever it is, I'm ain't telling who is she till we be together. Nyahahaha :p
Till then, PEACE OUT**
Today, should only have 3 lesson, but the "WeCare" lesson was cancelled by my teacher, so left Lifeskill Lesson and P.E. Lifeskill started at 9.30am, ended at 11.30am, sounds stupid and boring, didn't really bother much bout it. Then after the lesson, needed to wait till 2pm cause of P.E lesson, so I already planning of "Cabut From Class" but in the end, I didn't. Luckily though, because if I did, my Napfa scores will be turned to "0". Well, most of my classmates didn't turn out for the lesson, my P.E teacher said, "Basket! Want to cabut-cabut only, since they got Chinese New Year Mood. 30% of the P.E test which is the Napfa, I gonna make them 0".
I was like, "OMG, if I did cabut, then I am really fucking stupid". So we played street soccer just now before the P.E lesson, and once it started, we played basketball. Wanna know how many turned up for P.E? Only 12 ppl did. HAHAHA!
So tomorrow should have half-day lesson as other classes do, or school. But since tomorrow lesson topic was covered on Monday, my teacher actually cancelled her lesson. DAMN GREAT to hear that, afternoon no lesson, so left 1 lesson which is the EES, and she actually cancelled it. SOOO, that means NO LESSON, NO SCHOOL!!!! WOOOOoooooo. My whole class shouted like freaking mad. Jumping around here and there, till they didn't even care. XD wahahaha.
Valentine's Day is coming, those who celebrating it, Happy Valentine's Day. Wish all the best for you guys relationship. Speaking bout relationship, I wish I would be with this girl. I really in love with her, and this time, I will make my move really really carefully. Maybe I would ask her out for a date or just "Jalan2". And made my move before Valentine's Day. I KNOW I KNOW that asking for relationship during Valentine's Day is ROMANTIC, haha, but I don't think I have the time to ask her out during that day, cause surely my classes would ended late. Which is around 5.30pm, so reached home like 7+? She still in Secondary School. Sec 4 I think, yah, she sec 4. And she can't go out at night. So, what to do, just asking before that "Lovely Day". Hmm, does she knows that I'm into her? Crazy for her and so on? If she do suspect it, then I hope we could be together. MAN I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HER!
And one more thing, I WOULD BE NUTS TO SAY THIS IN MY BLOG, cause everyone would sooo freaking ask me or something. Hahaha, whatever it is, I'm ain't telling who is she till we be together. Nyahahaha :p
Till then, PEACE OUT**
9:43 PM
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Few Days Ago
On the 30th, it was my NAPFA test. (or was it spelled NAFA?)
After completing, there's lesson for us which was the IFA. Well, theory lesson, but I can't absorb the teaching and so on. So, I just slack in the lesson till my teacher done teaching. Once lesson finished, gone to cafe 1 to hang out with Albert, Azuwan and Huiting. My homie, Hirzi (Zi) performed break/modern dance. So we straight away went to the Forum and watch he and his dance club community
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It was the day that everyone suffer of 2.4km run. Think it was like half the School of Info-Comm Technology needed to take the test. So when someone finished the run, there would be a number list that shows which position you're in. Well, few of my friend's position was like 260+ or something. Meaning that there WERE a lot of people taking the run during that time.
But for me, this year 2.4km was the easiest that I faced. Not sure why, but somehow it was like simple and fast. I gotten position of 49 out of half SICT(School of Info-Comm Technology).
So I could say that I'm in top 50? Hahaha, well some of my classmates managed to get top 10 or 20. They were called to go for Inter-class run. Luckily for me I'm not involved, if I did, I'm gonna suffer more.
So I could say that I'm in top 50? Hahaha, well some of my classmates managed to get top 10 or 20. They were called to go for Inter-class run. Luckily for me I'm not involved, if I did, I'm gonna suffer more.
After the run, we need to complete the 5 stations; Shuttle Run, Pull-Up, Sit-Up, Standing Broadjump and Sit & Reach. Shuttle Run I managed to get 9.8 seconds, Pull-Up, well I blew my chances of grade A. I gotten only 4, my target was 6 and above. Sit-up I gotten 44, since above 42 will get grade A, so just added extra 2 more, haha. Standing Broadjump managed to get 217. Improving since Secondary and last is Sit & Reach which was only 41. That was seriously SUCKS! Nyahaha.
After completing, there's lesson for us which was the IFA. Well, theory lesson, but I can't absorb the teaching and so on. So, I just slack in the lesson till my teacher done teaching. Once lesson finished, gone to cafe 1 to hang out with Albert, Azuwan and Huiting. My homie, Hirzi (Zi) performed break/modern dance. So we straight away went to the Forum and watch he and his dance club community performed. It was fantastic.
Above picture is Me and my good friend, Huiting. Beside it is Albert and Wan which was taken by Huiting.
Next day, everything were the same. Lessons, Break time, eating, going to toilet, taking stupid pictures and so on. Nothing special happen during those days, that's why I didn't update my blog. Muahaha, well here are some pictures that I took. That's all I could post. *Peace*
5:45 PM
